Page 60 of Zero Confusion

ZACH: Believe it or not, it’s an improvement from last year. The choice between regular and light is almost overwhelming.

JOEL: I didn’t know beer came in cans.

ZACH: Middle America has a lot it can teach you.

JOEL: I’ll pass.

Zach grinned and shoved his phone back in his pocket. The lighthearted exchange did its job. He felt a little better, buoyed by the knowledge that there was a place for him out there. Somewhere he was accepted by people who didn’t have to risk everything to be his friend.

Having successfully avoided a breakdown, he shut the lids and went into the kitchen, where his mom was furiously chopping celery.

“I’m done with the drinks. What’s next?”

She waved him away. “You’ve done plenty, hon. Your brothers can finish up. You go on upstairs and take a break.”

This was music to Zach’s ears. He rushed upstairs before she changed her mind and flopped on top of the covers, too overheated to do anything else.

After resting, he took a cool shower and threw on a pair of dark jeans and a blue polo. Without question, most folks would be dressed far more casually, but he couldn’t imagine making small talk with dozens of people while wearing cargo shorts.

The sun was lower in the sky by the time he stepped outside, and the crushing heat of the afternoon was slowly dissipating. His dad puttered around the grill while Jerry and Abe hovered over a small Bluetooth speaker and argued about the playlist, eventually settling on classic country hits.

As guests arrived, they greeted Walter and detoured to grab a beer before heading straight for Zach, curiosity all over their faces. He put on his biggest fake smile and mentally prepared himself.

Showtime.

The thing about living in a town of a couple thousand was that everybody knew each other’s business, and if by some miracle they didn’t, they weren’t shy about asking. They certainly weren’t shy tonight. In a way, Zach didn’t blame them. Not everyone his age chose to attend college, and those who did rarely left the state. Living in a large, liberal city made Zach practically the eighth wonder of the world.

He chatted politely with everyone who crossed his path, and the conversations started to blur together after a while—the same curious questions, the same careful answers.

“You got what, one year left?” Mr. Greene asked, not bothering to wait for an answer. “Reckon you’re looking forward to getting back.”

Zach hummed noncommittally.

“I hope you’re being careful,” Mrs. Greene added, nodding along with her husband. “There’s all sorts living in those big cities, always marching and protesting something or other. You don’t want to fall in with the wrong crowd.”

Zach had a strong feeling that she’d definitely classify him as one of those sorts if she’d known the truth. He took a deep breath and smiled sweetly, waiting for her to finish talking. The sooner she was done, the sooner he could escape this never-ending lecture.

“You really should have stayed closer to home,” she tutted, shaking her head as if his decision still baffled her. “You could have found a nice local girl by now, someone with values. I’m sure your folks would love some grandbabies.”

“I’m focusing on my studies right now,” Zach repeated the same refrain he’d used the last fifty times this topic came up.

Mr. Greene’s smile was equal parts judgmental and condescending. “Nothing wrong with schoolwork, but a man needs balance. A good woman to keep him honest.” He smirked and tilted his head at something behind Zach. “Some folks figure it out faster than others.”

Zach turned around to check what he was talking about and immediately noticed Miles. Tall and broad, he was impossible to miss. Magnetic. Tantalizing. Effortlessly sexy. All those yummy muscles stuffed into a gray tee that stretched tight across his chest and threatened to burst at the seams. His freshly shaved face gleamed, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw.

Utter perfection.

It took Zach a moment to stop admiring Miles and realize what Mr. Greene was referring to. Miles wasn’t alone. Katie Schulz swayed to the beat of the music next to him, giggling and petting his arm as if she had no concept of personal space. In theory, their old classmate was a lovely girl, kind and clever, but Zach never managed to get over the fact that she’d been Miles’s first kiss back in high school. Even now, jealousy clawed at his insides.

He wasn’t worried about them rekindling that short-lived affair, not when Miles had worn his feelings for Zach on his sleeve. No, his jealousy wasn’t about romance. He envied Katie’s freedom to flirt with Miles in public, to touch him without scrutiny, to laugh with him without getting curious looks. She was the kind of person Miles was expected to end up with, the kind of person who made sense in the eyes of everyone watching.

Forcing himself to look away, Zach turned back to Mr. Greene’s smug grin. He wanted to storm off. To rage at them. To shout that he didn’t want a wife. To revel in their horrified expressions when he told them all the things the town’s golden boy had done to him.

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t.

Could he?