Page 58 of Zero Confusion

This was Miles, his Miles, balancing on the edge, too far gone to keep up the act. It was enough to push Zach off the cliff. He shuddered as a wave of euphoria crashed into him, dragging him down. If it hadn’t been for Miles’s strong hands holding him up, Zach would have fallen to his knees and melted into a puddle.

A deep groan reverberated all around, bouncing off the walls and vibrating under his skin, and then Miles went still, throbbing deep inside, his hot release filling Zach to the brim.

They stood motionless, faint echoes of their pleasure scattering in every direction. Eventually, when their ragged breathing evened out, Miles pulled away, and Zach winced at the sudden emptiness. Then, another unfamiliar sensation grabbed his attention.

“I can feel your come leaking out.”

His voice was hoarse from moaning, and the observation came out far more seductive than he’d intended.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Miles whispered. “I wish I could see.”

“You’re welcome to feel it.”

He meant it as a joke, a cheesy line from amateur porn, but Miles sucked in a breath and eagerly trailed his fingers down Zach’s hips and over the globes of his ass before slipping his fingers into the crease.

“Hottest fucking thing ever,” he rasped, sinking into Zach’s softened, wet hole, pumping slowly, playing with the rim. Zach loved it. He’d never been a fan of aftercare or cuddling, but Miles’s careful, deliberate caresses spoke of his deep affection and were everything Zach never knew he wanted.

Reluctantly, they separated. Zach tried to put himself back together—not just pulling on his clothes but coming back to reality. This short escape from the world may have felt like something bigger, but Zach knew what it was. What it had to be.

They didn’t exchange a single word as they left the shed and walked back to the fence until both of their houses were within view.

“I’ll probably be busy with Max settling in tomorrow,” Miles said. “I’ll try to get away, but I don’t know if I can.”

“It’s fine.” Zach infused his voice with nonchalance. “I’ll see you at the party, right?”

Miles leaned in to give Zach a peck on the cheek. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

Zach made a noise that vaguely resembled good night and fled before he could fall apart. Every step away from Miles was harder and harder to take, and the sharp sting of tears pricked his eyes.

He’d wanted to take advantage of the days they had left, to be with Miles, to feel him deep inside before their time ran out. Yet all it did was give him a taste of something heavenly. Something he’d spend the rest of his life dreaming about.

Something he couldn’t let himself have again.

Chapter 22

ZACH

“Why is there so much stuff?” Zach grumbled, trying to untangle a string of fairy lights. “It’s a barbecue, not a parade.”

Mara snorted. “It’s Mom’s favorite holiday. We don’t even have this many Christmas decorations.” Red, white, and blue bunting trailed behind her as she methodically taped it around the edges of a large folding table already piled with at least ten packages of burger buns and a truly impressive mountain of family-sized bags of chips.

“I guess late-stage capitalism is the true American vibe.” Zach laughed at Mara’s mock gasp. After fiddling with the lights for a bit, he gave up and reached into the scuffed-up cardboard box to pull out a heavy wooden Welcome sign with stars and hearts. “Do we really need this?”

“Of course we do. We here in Montana are very welcoming. How do they celebrate in Portland? Does everyone bike downtown to watch ethically-sourced fireworks?”

“No clue.” Zach shrugged, carefully setting the sign aside and rummaging through the remaining decorations for something he’d know what to do with. “I’m always here for the summer. I assume it’s the same thing, but with better beer and more vegetarian options.”

When he thought he’d be staying in Portland, the plan had been to hit up a campus barbecue in between doing homework. Being home was infinitely better. There was something comforting about these familiar annual traditions, even if this year he’d been saddled with hours of setup. At least Mara had volunteered to help, unlike Jerry and Abe, who took one look at the stack of boxes and disappeared. It would have been nice if Miles could join him, but he had a long list of chores to finish before the party.

Farm life didn’t pause for special occasions.

That was one thing Zach definitely didn’t miss. He liked weekends and holidays, appreciated having scheduled time off and breathing room. Trying to puzzle out where to hang a chaotic assortment of American flags in every size was still better than getting a sunburn out in the fields.

It wasn’t that he hated farmwork in principle. At least not all of it. Large-scale operations, like planting and harvesting wheat, were exhausting, but he enjoyed the more hands-on activities, like working with animals or tending vegetables. There was a meditative quality to kneeling in the dirt, using his hands to clear out stubborn weeds, giving the fragile seedlings a chance to flourish. He’d happily do that all day, every day, if that was all farm life entailed.

Unfortunately, farming also meant the constant, headache-inducing drone of heavy machinery, the tang of diesel and pesticides in the air, the heavy water hoses, the constant nicks and scrapes all over his hands. All of that, he was more than happy to leave behind.

He grimaced at his thoughts. A leaden balloon of guilt pressed against his ribs, expanding by the hour. His flight was tomorrow morning, less than a day away, and he still hadn’t talked to his parents about his plans.