Page 31 of Zero Confusion

Zach would never call himself athletic—his exercise routine limited to biking back and forth from campus—but he loved rock climbing. Back when he was a freshman, a classmate invited him to a birthday party here. Despite Zach’s reservations about eating vegan desserts and working out as a form of entertainment, the cake had been delicious, and the excitement of dragging himself up a wall using tiny handholds had been strangely addicting. By the end of the night, he’d become a convert.

Even then, his first thought had been of Miles, of how much he would enjoy it too. Now, he could.

And he did.

“This is so cool!” Miles yelled from the top of the beginner route and pushed away from the wall, grinning the entire way down as Zach slowly let out the rope. He landed with a grunt. “Can we do something harder?”

Of course, Miles turned out to be a natural. His flexing biceps were a thing of beauty as he hung from one hand and maneuvered his solid frame into impossible positions. Zach couldn’t match his raw strength, but he had his own rhythm as his body propelled up the wall in light, precise bursts. When he climbed, everything else fell away. No ground, no gravity, just the thump in his chest pushing him to go higher and the knowledge that when he was done, Miles would be waiting for him below.

They spent hours taking turns, moving on to progressively more complicated routes, until Zach had to call it a day. A dull ache had settled across his neck and shoulders, but that wasn’t the worst of it. An entire afternoon of belaying Miles, of staring at his ass, framed perfectly by the harness—all while willing his body to behave—was starting to take its toll on his willpower.

“I think I’m done,” Zach said after Miles carefully lowered him to the ground. He’d just spent ten minutes with Miles’s eyes on him, and he was feeling extra self-conscious on top of the exhaustion. “You can do a few more, but my shoulders are killing me.”

“Nah, I’m done too. Let’s go get some dinner.” Miles slid next to him, far too close, and helped him undo the knots and get out of his harness. Zach’s muscles throbbed too much to refuse the help, though it took every ounce of self-control not to get hard as Miles’s hands kept brushing up against his groin and hips.

If his attraction had been purely physical, he might have managed to discount it a long time ago, but it was Miles’s caring touches and gentle words that affected him the most—the way Miles led him to a bench and helped him put on his shoes, the way his eyes twinkled every time they smiled at each other on the bus ride home, and the soft, impassioned “Thank you, Zee” murmured into the darkness as they fell asleep.

* * *

The exercise had clearly been good for Miles. He’d never admit it out loud, intent on insisting he was happy to hang out at the apartment, but he seemed lighter. The next morning, he bounced around the room, cooking a full breakfast, cleaning every surface, and filling several pages of his sketchbook with shaded pyramids.

Zach’s plan for his day off was to lie in bed and complain about his sore muscles. For once, he didn’t have mountains of homework, and he wanted to relax. But more than that, he wanted to make Miles happy.

They spent the afternoon hiking.

When Zach opened his eyes on Wednesday, his body felt like one giant bruise.

“You’ve gone soft, city boy,” Miles teased after listening to him complain over breakfast.

“And I’m absolutely fine with that. Humanity has evolved to lay on the couch and eat pizza, not walk for hours and toss hay bales.”

Miles barked out a laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you toss a hay bale.”

“Because I’m an evolved being, and that’s what my brothers are for.” Zach hopped up, wincing at the burst of pain radiating from every sore muscle, and carefully limped to grab his wallet and keys. Biking to school was out of the question. Just the thought of it made him cramp up. Thankfully, the bus stop wasn’t far from campus.

“Fine. How about I give you a massage when you get home?”

Zach would never say no to that offer. Miles’s hands were strong, and his shoulder rubs were equal parts painful and relaxing.

Exactly what he needed.

After squeezing out of the crammed bus a few blocks away from campus, he began his slog, slowly shuffling along the sidewalk and wondering if he would ever make it. That would be quite an email to his professor.

Sorry to miss the class, but I foolishly exercised two days in a row and am now fully incapacitated.

He was almost to the parking lot when Tyler jogged up to him. Besides exchanging the occasional awkward glance in class, they hadn’t said a word to each other ever since Miles showed up and rocked Zach’s world with that kiss. Was it too much to hope that Tyler would keep going and let him walk to class on his own?

“Hey.” Tyler bumped his elbow, and Zach sighed.

Yes, it was.

Tyler matched Zach’s unhurried pace and gave him a look of chagrin. “I’m sorry about last week. I shouldn’t have assumed you were cheating on your man.”

Zach wasn’t sure how to respond, but Tyler kept going. “It’s not an excuse, but he seemed really upset when you were dancing with someone else. It brought back some…feelings. My ex liked to make me jealous by flirting with other guys, and after a while, he started fucking them, so…”

“Oh.” Guilt pricked at Zach as a shadow flickered across Tyler’s face. “I’m sorry about your ex. He sounds like a dick. But I promise you, Miles was fine with it.”

A group of students spilled out of the nearby building, breezing past them in a cloud of colorful hair, excited conversation, and a vague scent of paint thinner. Sometimes Zach envied the art students—they moved through the world unafraid to take up space, to be different, to be seen. They wore their freedom like paint smudged on their hands, while Zach hovered over a half-finished pencil drawing with an eraser.