Page 2 of Zero Confusion

The only drawback to this plan was missing out on time with Miles. He was giving up their last chance to go on hikes and laugh about their shared memories, to stay up watching movies and pass out next to each other.

The last chance to be close to his favorite person—close, yet impossibly far—because Miles could never know about Zach’s feelings, could never return them.

A shiver rippled through him despite the warm summer air. If Miles ever found out, it would be a disaster. He’d be painfully gentle with Zach—hug him, apologize for not returning his feelings, ask if there was anything he could do to help. He would forever choose his words carefully, walking on eggshells around Zach. He would act differently—look at him differently.

Those tender, pitying looks from the person he loved most in this world would be impossible to survive.

He tried not to think about Miles’s crestfallen face when he’d told him about staying in Portland for the summer. Miles hadn’t bothered trying to hide his disappointment, staring at Zach in silence from the phone screen.

“What about us?” he’d asked in a small voice, and Zach had been seconds away from forfeiting his tuition money and driving to Montana. It was only the reminder that Miles’s idea of us was vastly different from Zach’s that had kept him in his seat.

“I’m sorry, Miles, but I really need this class,” Zach lied. “We can video chat, and I’ll see you for Thanksgiving.”

“Zee, that’s months away. I miss you.”

That soft whisper had played on a constant loop in Zach’s brain ever since their conversation.

At his block, Zach hopped off the bike and walked it down the sidewalk. A tall blond man paced in front of the entrance, and Zach sighed to himself. Despite the distance between them, he saw Miles everywhere—anytime a broad-shouldered, light-haired man crossed his path, his traitorous heart skipped a beat.

He needed to get a hold of himself.

He needed to get over Miles.

Going to the club with Joel tomorrow would be the perfect opportunity to find a distraction, someone to get his mind off his hopeless crush. He wasn’t interested in dating, but he wouldn’t say no to a brief fling or a random hookup. Anything not to spend his entire life pining after his straight best friend.

The heavy door of his building, propped open most of the time, was currently shut, probably by one of his security-minded neighbors. Zach leaned the bike against the wall and shoved a hand into his bag, blindly rooting around for keys. His fingers barely squeezed past the thick ream of paper and kept closing around random objects, and he silently promised himself to organize his shit as soon as he got home. No one needed three protein bars and two flavors of mints to survive one class.

As he searched, a powerful gust of wind ripped one of the wrinkled articles from his grasp and sent it dancing along the ground toward the Miles look-alike.

“Hey! Can you grab that?” Zach yelled at the broad back. With his luck, that case study would turn out to be the most important.

The man lunged after the escaped papers as they flew past, his movements surprisingly graceful for someone so imposing. Zach was captivated by the display of rippling muscles, the powerful body in motion, still staring when his savior triumphantly turned around.

Zach’s mind went blank. Was it possible to conjure someone up by aggressively pining after them? Had years of unrequited love broken his brain to the point of hallucination?

Could it be delirium brought on by doing too much research?

“Zee!” The man’s face split into a wide grin. He ate up the distance between them with large steps and lifted Zach off the ground in a giant hug. Zach allowed himself to enjoy the delusion, appreciating his brain’s attention to detail, right down to the crisp scent of Miles’s deodorant and the rough stubble scratching his cheek.

He adjusted his grip on the handouts in his hand, the sharp sting of a paper cut making him flinch.

The pain snapped him back to reality—the reality in which the familiar hulking presence truly existed, warm arms wrapped around him, the sweetest voice whispering his nickname.

This was no delusion.

It was much worse.

Miles was here.

Chapter 2

MILES

Miles buried his face in Zach’s neck and squeezed harder.

Video chats were no substitute for being able to touch his best friend, to sink into the familiar scent of his citrusy body wash, to revel in the silky softness of his tousled hair. He didn’t want to let go, wanted to stay in this moment forever. Ever since Zach had moved away for college, Miles learned to cherish these rare opportunities to be close to his favorite person.

In high school, he’d imagined them going to the state university together—being roommates, taking the same courses, hanging out all the time—and it was a major blow when Zach revealed he was going to Portland. The first reaction had been disappointment, but Zach had been so happy about getting a scholarship and leaving Montana, Miles had forced himself to swallow his bitter feelings.