Page 28 of Zero Confusion

Better.

Zach’s breathing evened out as he fell asleep, but Miles’s heart thumped too quickly and loudly for him to do the same. He didn’t know how to feel, what to think. A part of him was proud, so proud of his best friend. Zach was bright and eager, destined for amazing things, and while farm life was pleasant in a lot of ways, he couldn’t see Zach leading a quiet life. This was the right choice for him.

Yet another, much larger part was mourning the eventual loss. He couldn’t help torturing himself by imagining the inevitable chain of events. They’d try to stay in touch, but eventually Zach would get busy and fade away. He might visit his family every few years for the holidays, looking older and different every time Miles would see him, and they’d have less and less in common until their brief chats were nothing but small talk.

One year, Zach would get married. There’d be children, professional successes, important milestones, things that Miles would find out about months later, second-hand through the town gossip. He’d be left on the sidelines, working at the family farm despite having no interest in doing so, reduced to a childhood friend Zach might remember fondly every once in a while.

He screwed his eyes shut and tried to banish the unpleasant thoughts. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—let this future come to pass, not when there were glimpses of another future, a tantalizing path that shimmered in front of him like a mirage.

A life where he went against his parents’ wishes.

He’d imagined it before, getting lost in elaborate daydreams of traveling the country and returning to an apartment in a large city, of museums on the weekends. Of freedom from his father’s constraints.

Now, he had something far more enticing and dangerous to dream about.

Zach.

He fit into Miles’s invented scenarios seamlessly. They could get a bigger apartment, eat dinner and talk about their days every night, walk side by side through art exhibits, cuddle up to each other in bed, and make coffee every morning.

Did this mean Miles was gay? Bi? He wasn’t sure. All he knew for certain were two things.

One—kissing Zach had been the most natural thing in the world, like breathing fresh air, like watching the sun set behind golden fields of wheat, like pulling on his favorite worn-in pair of jeans.

And two—Miles was desperate to fall asleep to the sound of his best friend’s soft breathing every night for the rest of his life.

Kink Talk

DomicronPersei8: Question for the subs—how important is it for your Doms to be… for the lack of a better word, dommy in everyday life?

SubMarine: Speaking completely hypothetically, since I haven’t had a Dom, I would prefer someone on the bossy side. Not a full-time Dom, but someone who could keep me grounded.

DomPetty: Is that a chicken/egg situation? You went into the military because you love getting orders or do you miss getting orders because of the military?

SubMarine: A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.

SubSequins: In my mind, full-time Doms are all growly and super hot, but I’m not sure if that would actually translate into reality. I’m a pretty independent person. Not sure I could give that up.

SubLime: Can I cheat and say both? I want someone confident but not controlling.

SubScribble: I could take it or leave it. It’s a fine line between “hot and authoritative” and “power tripping asshole.”

SubAir: I could leave it. I could definitely leave it. No way would I want someone to boss me around in real life.

DomicronPersei8: So you’d really be fine with submitting in bed and then turning around to call the shots the rest of the time?

SubAir: Uhh, yeah. I like keeping that whole power dynamic completely separate from the rest of my life.

SubZero: I’m probably not the best person for this conversation because I’m not really into the D/s scene, more of a…what’s the equivalent of a weekend warrior? Weekend sub?

DomAndDommer: My dudes, what all of you are describing as power-tripping and controlling are not real Doms. Those are toxic assholes that don’t belong in the community. A real Dom will always put their sub’s needs first, especially in an extended power exchange.

DomAndDommer: And it doesn’t matter if they are official Doms or just someone who likes to tie other people up during sex, they still have a responsibility to you.

SubZero: Someone should tell them that.

SubLily: Not everyone here is a dude, Dommer.

DomAndDommer: Pretty sure “dude” transcends gender.