Page 93 of Tough Call

CHAPTER 31

MADARS

The silence was going to drive me insane. Every minute that ticked past without a phone ringing or a summons to a video call had me more on edge. More nervous.

This was a mistake. We shouldn’t have told them. We should’ve just flown under the radar and hoped for the best. Beg forgiveness instead of asking permission, just like Mülly said.

Fuck.

Beside me on the couch, Connor checked his phone. I straightened, thinking he might’ve heard a notification that I hadn’t, but he just put it back down on the end table.

“Nothing?” I asked.

“Nothing. I think I’m starting to hallucinate my text tone.”

I laughed dryly. “Yeah. Me too. When do you think they’ll call?”

He shook his head. “No idea. Probably soon, especially since Vancouver’s GM wants to know if you’re signing your PTO.”

My stomach knotted. That contract was a ticking clock. There was always a period of time to allow for negotiations, but Vancouver wanted an answer sooner than later. So did Genève. And especially with the lack of regulations to guide them, this was probably a slow and difficult process to navigate. There were probably lawyers being consulted, not to mention the players’ union and—I don’t know—the Oracle of Delphi or something.

Truthfully, I had no idea what was happening, only that every minute was making me insane. The longer this took, the more resigned I was that no news was bad news.

And what if it was? What if they came back with, “Absolutely the fuck not”? Then what?

Professionally, I didn’t know. I really, really didn’t, especially since a lot of that would be up to people who weren’t me.

Personally, though?

“I don’t want another opportunity like that,” I heard myself telling Mülly. “I want him.”

In the present, I sighed. “I hate this.”

“Me too.” Connor ran his fingers through my hair. “And I hate that it’s putting a damper on you getting an offer from an NAL team.”

I wanted to insist it wasn’t, because I didn’t want him to feel bad about it. This wasn’t on him. It was just shitty timing. I’d resigned myself to letting that opportunity slip away, which had kept me from holding back with Connor. Since there’d been almost no chance of us both landing in the NAL, there’d been no reason to avoid getting close to him.

I didn’t regret that part. If anything, it was a silver lining to my stupid injury; if I’d known that PTO was still a possibility, who knew if I’d have let Connor in?

And now that I had let him in…

Sudden determination had me restless, and I turned to my boyfriend.

“Connor.” I took his hand in both of mine. “I just want you to know—whatever decision they make, my decision is you.”

He blinked, fingers twitching in my grasp. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t how this is going to shake out.” I brought up his hand to kiss his palm. “But you’re not optional for me.”

He stared at me in disbelief.

“If they tell me I can’t play in the NAL as long as I’m with you,” I went on, “or that one of us has to give up our connection to the NAL if we’re together, then…” I shook my head. “Then I’ll keep playing in Switzerland.”

Connor’s lips parted. “But playing in the NAL again is your dream.”

“It is. But if I have to choose between that dream and you, then I can let that dream go.”

He stared at me, disbelief etched all over his face.