Page 58 of Over the Line
“The divorce happened the year before he was eligible for the draft.”
“Ooh.” Liam grimaced. “Shit.”
“Yeah. So right when the scouts really had their eyes on him, and he was trying to shine, the stress at home was seriously interfering with his hockey. He still played like hell, but it was so much harder than it should’ve been for him.”
“Jesus. That’s rough.”
“Right?”
“And… shit, he still managed to get selected twelfth overall, even with all that hanging over his head.”
Despite the shame and guilt, I couldn’t help letting some pride shine through. “He’s always been an incredible talent.”
“He has. I remember the scouts and GM mentioning his name before he was drafted. And it says a lot about him that he can play that well even when he’s struggling off the ice.”
I flinched. “I just wish he hadn’t had to. If I’d known… But I mean, what did I expect, you know? I fucked up, and I fucked up so bad that all four of my kids wanted nothing to do with me for a while.” I had to fight past the lump in my throat as I added, “My older daughter still doesn’t.”
“Well, you said it took Chris a while to come around.” Liam’s voice was gentle, as were his eyes. “There’s still hope for your daughter.”
“God, I hope so.”
“The fact that the other three are coming around—you must be doing something right now.”
“What if it’s too little, too late?” God, I sounded pathetic.
“If it was, you wouldn’t be in Pittsburgh.”
He had a point.
“It’s progress,” I acknowledged.
“You didn’t think you’d get here with Chris.” Liam’s little smile made my heart flutter. “Give her time.”
“About all I can do at this point.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “And try not to screw things up with Chris again.”
“Eh, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. He seems really happy to have you in Pittsburgh and coming to his games.”
Warmth rushed through me, and I smiled. “I’ll take it. And I…” I hesitated, then decided to just be honest. “I don’t even know if it would bother him. If you and I…”
“If we got involved with each other?”
“Yeah. Like he might not care one way or the other. I’m just…” I pressed back against the couch and exhaled. “I still feel like I’m on such fragile ground with him. Like if I do anything at all to rock the boat, I’ll lose all the progress I’ve made with him.” I paused, furrowing my brow. “Is that as irrational as it sounds?”
“I don’t think there’s such thing as irrational when you’re reconciling with an estranged child. I mean, after my ex and I had a big fight and almost split up, I walked on eggshells for months afterward. I was afraid if I stepped even a little bit out of line, he’d be out the door. This is a years-long thing with your kid.” Liam shrugged. “I can see being extra cautious.”
I pursed my lips. “So maybe it’s not completely irrational.”
“I don’t think it is. I don’t know for sure if it would actually cause any problems either, but I don’t think the caution is irrational, if that makes sense.”
Nodding, I said, “It does.” I thought about it. “Maybe I should start with small steps.” I shifted a little to get comfortable. “Tell him that dating men is even on the table.”
“Oh, he doesn’t know? Right, right. You said that.”
“No, he doesn’t. The only time I’ve ever dated—” I paused, then made air quotes. “Well, ‘dated’ men was after the divorce. While Chris still wasn’t talking to me.”
“Do any of your kids know?”
“Nick and Katie know. My older son and younger daughter. I very briefly dated a guy after I reconciled with them. But they haven’t said anything to Chris or Ally. That I know of, anyway.”
