Page 25 of How to Lose a Lord in Ten Days

‘In the middle of conversation?’ Lydia asked doubtfully. ‘I would have thought that a little rude, but if you think I ought, then I shall!’

‘No, no,’ Ashford said hurriedly. ‘I meant more – a discreet aside – but perhaps not.’

‘I can be discreet!’ Lydia said very loudly.

‘No!’ Ashford snapped.

His tone, for the very first time since the visit had begun, was brusque and pointed. Perfect. Lydia affected a wobble of her lip.

‘Y-yes of course – it w-was foolish of me,’ she said, affecting a little choke.

Ashford looked towards Lydia, startled, eyes widening in horror at the sight of her rapidly moistening eyes. Even he, so poised, was not excluded from the general masculine fright at feminine tears. It was one of the few faits accomplis available to her gender, and Lydia could only be thankful she was able to utilize it at will. Her childhood ambition to become an actress – before Grandfather had informed her that this was an occupation for charlatans – was at last serving her well.

‘Oh, I did not mean to …’ Ashford said, putting out his hands as if to comfort her, and then snatching them back when he realized this would be entirely inappropriate. ‘My apologies, Miss Hanworth, I did not intend to distress you – how insensitive of me to ever imply …’

As Ashford trailed off, helplessly, Lydia gave several great heaving sniffs.

‘I should never wish to embarrass you,’ she whispered tearily.

‘No, of course not, of course,’ he said.

Patting down his pockets, Ashford produced a beautiful silk handkerchief upon which she blew her noise, noisily and thoroughly. The force of it knocked one of her ostrich feathers askew once more.

‘Better?’ Ashford asked, maintaining eye contact determinedly, though the ostrich feather now hung perpendicular to Lydia’s face. She held the handkerchief out to him.

‘No, no, you may … you may keep it,’ Ashford said, appearing to keep a grimace off his face with great difficulty.

They walked on in silence for a few moments. Several times Ashford took in a sharp intake of breath, as if he were about to speak, but did not. Lydia waited him out, with bated breath – was now the moment …?

‘I perhaps did not appreciate how nerve-wracking such an event as this might be,’ Ashford said. ‘It was thoughtless. I am sorry.’

‘Oh,’ Lydia said, in genuine surprise. She had not thought him the sort to apologize.

‘I wish to help you feel more at ease,’ Ashford said. ‘How can I do so?’

‘La, I am quite comfortable,’ Lydia said.

Ashford did not look convinced.

‘I hope you know,’ he said. ‘That you need only be yourself, even here.’

‘Myself?’ she said innocently. ‘But I am.’

Ashford shot her A Look.

‘I hope you don’t mind my disagreeing with you,’ Ashford said, ‘but I do not think you have been.’

Lydia let out a sceptical snort.

‘You think you know who I am?’ she said, before she could stop herself.

‘Miss Hanworth?’ he said, brows raising in surprise. ‘Is there something you wish to say?’

Lydia bit her lip, berating herself for allowing Ashford to see her mask slip.

‘No, no,’ she assured him. ‘There is nothing.’

‘Miss Hanworth, I do wish you would confide in me.’