Page 126 of How to Lose a Lord in Ten Days

‘Humphrey!’ shrieked Lady Hesse, appearing over Phoebe’s shoulder. ‘What is going on here?’

‘Now,’ Lady Morton said, hastily rearranging her magnificent bosom in the confines of her bodice, ‘let us all try to be calm and sensible.’

‘Sensible!’ Lady Hesse shrieked, taking a step into the room and jabbing an accusing finger at her. ‘You are twice his age!’

‘We are in love!’ Lord Hesse declared passionately.

‘Oh, dear lord,’ Lady Morton muttered.

‘The scandal this could cause!’

‘Well, this really does seem a family matter,’ Lady Phoebe said, edging backwards.

‘Lady Phoebe!’ Lady Hesse reached out a hand to forestall her. ‘I must insist you remain!’

But Lady Phoebe and Lydia had already escaped, half running down the hallway now.

‘For such a thing to happen at my house party,’ Lady Phoebe gasped. ‘Lady Hesse will never forgive me.’

‘Fortunately,’ Lydia panted, ‘that is soon not going to matter anymore.’

They pulled open another door and, this time making certain no one was inside, began tearing at the clasps to their dominoes, pulling off their masks, and then handing them to the other.

‘Elspeth has my things packed,’ Lady Phoebe said. ‘I shall go directly to the stable yard.’

‘We will give you as much time as we can,’ Lydia promised. ‘All being well, you should be clear until morning.’

She pulled Lady Phoebe’s vivid red domino around her, and Lady Pheobe helped her tie the loo mask.

‘There!’

‘Now go,’ Lydia ordered. ‘Now!’

Lady Pheobe hesitated.

‘I wish to say thank you,’ she said. ‘I have been so cross with you this week – I thought you difficult and vulgar and rude and—’

‘Is this your first time trying to thank someone?’

‘But I am glad,’ Lady Phoebe continued as if Lydia had not spoken, ‘that Ashford chose you.’

Lydia swallowed, smiled as best as she could, and bade her farewell.

28

Lydia had spent enough time in Lady Phoebe’s company to perform a passable enough imitation of her. As she re-entered the ballroom she pushed her shoulders back, pinned her widest smile to her face and tried to look about the room with the satisfaction of knowing one owned most of the things within it.

‘Lady Phoebe!’ Lady Hesse called, hastening towards her. Lydia turned and hurried in the opposite direction, but within two more steps she found herself hailed again.

‘Phoebe, darling,’ Lady Morton said, appearing at her right-hand side, closely followed by a flushed Hesse, ‘if I could just bend your ear for a moment? As much as I hate to admit it, Lady Hesse does have a point regarding discretion …’

Dear lord, could she have no peace?

‘Not now,’ Lydia trilled in her best Lady Phoebe voice, and changed direction again.

‘Phoebe!’

She looked up to see Sir Waldo ahead, beckoning her towards him. She affected not to notice, turning in yet another direction to wind through the ballroom in a complete circuit of the room.