Page 62 of Run Home
“Jeff has you completely spoiled,” I tease. “Why don’t you have him write down the exact proportions for you to share with whatever bartender you’re forcing to make your pink drink?”
Griffin claps a hand over his heart. “And ask Jeff to give up the rights to his intellectual property? I would never.”
“He taught Noah.”
“That was his choice.” Griffin’s eyes narrow. “Now, what’s eating at you?”
Before I can chicken out, I confess, “I think I may have messed up with Sam last night.”
Griffin’s eyes take on a hint of red rage, so I rush to clarify, “Nothing crazy, okay? I mean we were talking about something, and she got a little sad, and I don’t think I reacted the right way. You’ve got me so paranoid about the strength of our emotional connection that I froze up and got in my head and didn’t really respond.”
Griffin’s eyes cool to their normal gray-blue, and we pause while the bartender drops off our drinks. He leans in and says, “I’m sorry that I made you paranoid. Maybe I overstepped and never should have said anything at all. I probably shouldn’t have. It’s hard to turn off the protective-older-brother mode when it comes to Sam. After everything we’ve been through.”
He runs both hands through his hair before giving me a pained expression. “Honestly, I was probably reacting out of my own secondary trauma from walking through everything with Sam. Of watching her hit those really low points. Worrying what she might do to herself. But I shouldn’t have been so intense about it with you. I’m sorry that stepping in actually made things worse.”
“It’s okay, man,” I respond, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “I know it’s because you love her. And I did need the caution to think things through before acting. But this time, I think I maybe thought things through too much.”
Griffin tips his glass toward me and says, “Explain what you feel like would be okay to share.”
I tell him the barest amount of information about Sam’s struggle at the salon triggering the feeling she had of being used by Ryan for her connections. Rage simmers in Griffin’s eyes again, but I know it’s not directed at me.
“And you said what?” he asks.
Grimacing, I confess, “I didn’t really say anything.”
“Orteeez,” Griffin groans, drawing out my last name.
“I already told you I know I messed up!” I hiss. “I stammered a little bit trying to figure out what to say, and then she changed the subject.”
Griffin sighs, and I feel even worse. “She could probably tell that you were uncomfortable and lightened the mood.”
Now I groan and drop my head to my hands. “I didn’t mean to freeze up! I never know what to say to people when they’re crying or upset.”
“Work on it,” Griffin says.
“Work on it how?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I can’t do all your work for you, man. If you are serious about Sam, then figure it out,” he says.
Rubbing a hand over my goatee, I think over his challenge. I know he’s right.
But if I’m honest, I don’t want to get better at responding to people when they’re sad. I don’t want to have to think about the emotions I’m so good at distracting myself from.
Swirling the liquid in my glass, I ask, “Should I apologize? Call her tonight and bring it back up? See if she wants to talk more? I probably should, right?”
I start to pull out my phone, but Griffin stops me. “She’s on the reading retreat with Danae and her friends right now. It would probably make Sam feel way too awkward to have a conversation like that when she’s stuck in the house with people she doesn’t know well.”
“Ah, good point,” I agree. “Okay. I’ll wait and talk to her about it later. Or, at least, I’ll know to respond better next time if something comes up again.”
Griffin gives me a hard look. “Something is going to come up again. You have to know that. Even if Sam didn’t have the background that she does, uncomfortable moments and hard conversations are part of a relationship. You’re going to have to face them.”
Sighing, I say, “Okay, okay. I’m learning.”
Griffin raises his drink. “To learning.”
I clink my glass against his.
Chapter twenty-five
