Page 93 of Vandal Unbound

By the time I ease out from under her, I feel like my heart has been rolled through a pasta maker. Her arms reach for her bear in sleep, holding it to her. And I stand here for longer than I meant to, just looking at her.

Then I pull the blanket over her and leave the door open a crack.

I find Daisy out by the pool, her bare feet tucked under her on one of the chairs. She’s wearing one of my T-shirts over a pair of denim shorts. The porch is screened to keep mosquitos and other bugs out, but the light is off. The yard is silver with early moonlight, and the warm air carries the distant rasp of insects from the trees. She looks up when I step outside.

“She asleep?”

“Out cold. I sang to her. But not before she asked me some difficult questions.”

That brings her eyes back to mine. “She did?”

“She asked if I’m gonna be her dad,” I say. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say yes, even though it was on the tip of my tongue. I told her decisions like that take time and that we need to learn some things about each other first. But, I’ve got to be honest, the word yes was right there.”

Daisy’s eyes shimmer with tears. “For what it’s worth, Vandal, I think you’d make a pretty cool dad.”

I think about what she said for a moment. “You know, sitting with Elsie, wanting to make sure she’s always safe and happy…makes me think I owe my mom an apology. I pushed her away because I didn’t want her to see me like this. But…”

Daisy sniffs. “I know if Elsie was hurting, physically or otherwise, you’d need an army to keep me away.”

I rub my hands over my face. “I hid behind the clubhouse. She couldn’t just walk in because she’s a civilian.”

“Oh,” Daisy says. “You could fix that now. Do you feel like you should go see her?”

I shake my head. “Today’s been a lot, but give me a second to message her.”

I pull my phone out of my pocket. It’s a cop-out to lay all this out for her in a text. She deserves so much more than that. So I try to keep it brief.

Me:Hey, Mom. I’m sorry for being a dick. Any chance you could swing by the house tomorrow morning so we can talk. And I’d like you to meet Daisy and her daughter, Elsie.

I fully intend to put my phone away, but the dots start immediately.

Mom:Oh, love. Of course I’ll come. I’ll bring treats. Remember, I’ll love you for always.

I heart it and swallow deeply. Then I take the chair next to her, and for a while, we sit without talking. The quiet evening lets us.

“Can I tell you about Elsie’s father?” Daisy asks finally. “I don’t want to make it awkward, but I think you should know.”

I turn my head to her. “I think it would be a pretty good precedent for the two of us to be able to tell each other anything.”

Daisy sighs. “He wasn’t a good man,” she says. “I think I told myself he was complicated because that sounded less stupidthan admitting I was in a relationship with someone who cared more about that awful tattoo than me.”

“You were young?” I ask.

“Maybe. But I was old enough to know better. He was Alvarez’s right-hand, not officially, because men like that don’t put titles on anything that can be used in court. But that’s what he was. Errands. Collections. Messages. Intimidation when someone needs to remember their place. His name was Julian Vega. And I had no idea he was married.”

“He was what?”

“Yeah. Married. I only found out during the trial. It was odd. I’d received a letter from the lawyer advising me to stay away. The explanation was to do with protecting me and Elsie and making sure we didn’t get caught up in the scandal. But I hated the idea of Julian looking up in court and not seeing me. I arrived for the trial, wearing my best dress, my hair done, and then some guy calls out for Julian’s wife. I went to step forward, thinking there must be some kind of mistake. That I’m only his girlfriend. But the stunningly beautiful woman stepped forward and said she was his wife, and it felt like my world turned to sand beneath my feet.”

“God, Daisy. That’s fucking awful.” I reach for her hand and hold it tight.

“I always thought there was a special level in hell for women who did the dirty on other women and stole their husbands. But I never considered just how deceptive men could be. No offense.”

I put my hands up. “None taken.”

“People asked me after, how could I not know. And I suppose there were signs I should have been worried about. But we moved fast. I used to work in a high-end cocktail bar that he used to frequent. He was very charismatic, and also incredibly generous. Within three months of knowing each other, he’dmoved me out of the shit hole apartment I was living in and put me in a huge ocean-view one in South Beach. He told me he travelled a lot for business and that was how he made his money, but for all intents and purposes, I thought we lived together. There were clothes in his closet. He had a favorite mug he used at breakfast. I thought we were building a life.”

“Is that why you’re so worried about us moving too fast?”