Page 18 of Vandal Unbound
Daisy opens and closes the door, then sighs. “Perfect.” She turns around and puts her back to the fridge. “I don’t know if it’s fate or something that Elsie misdialed, but…” She shrugs.
“Kinda feel the same way.”
She steps up onto her toes and brushes a kiss to my cheek. It was way too fast, but I don’t think to hold onto her. “Thank you for coming tonight.”
“My pleasure.”
It would be nice to talk with Daisy some more.
Alone.
Not even in a hot and dirty kind of way. Just in a peaceful kind of way.
But I don’t deserve this kind of happy. And even I can smell myself.
I shouldn’t be stinking up her place. And the itch that burns like fire through my veins is starting again. The one that I drink to switch off.
“Take care of yourself, Daisy. And lock the door when I’m gone,” I say, before I walk to the door, open it, and then before I close it behind me, I think of one more thing to add. “You ever need me again, just call.”
6
VANDAL
Idebate going home, but as I sit at the intersection where I have to go left to my house or right to my club, I can’t make the call.
I haven’t been home since the accident. My mom’s been over to water the plants she insisted I needed. Havoc has been there to pick up shit for me. Clean clothes I was missing. Bills that need paying.
But I’ve stayed away. I’m struggling to be anywhere where I need to be alone for any period of time.
The feeling redoubles when I look over my shoulder in the direction of Daisy’s apartment and wonder if I should just head back there.
Or maybe the best step forward I can take tonight is to turn my tires in the direction of home and head there.
Blood whooshes around my body, and I can hear the sound of it in my ears. My palms sweat so badly, I need to wipe them down my jeans before I take a deep breath and decide I can’t face that stretch of road yet.
So I turn and head back to the clubhouse. I try to focus on things I’d usually observe on a night like tonight. That whileit’s hotter and more humid than a sauna, the sky is a stunning midnight blue. The stars look like little pinpricks of light through a dark curtain. There are no other cars on the road, which is a relief. Seeing headlights approaching me right now would be enough to send me over the edge.
There’s a certain trickle of relief when I make it back to the clubhouse, and I realize I’m lucky to have two places to call home. While my room here is currently a stinking mess, I have a comfortable bed, a large shower, and a closet and drawers bursting with more clothes than I need. And it makes me think about Daisy and her situation. She looks like she should have a closet full of flowery, colorful shit. Shoes and bags to match. Instead, there’s fuck all in her fridge. She’s making do with next to nothing. And I’m not doing anything with everything I already have.
I walk to the clubhouse kitchen and grab a glass from the cupboard before opening the freezer. The vodka bottle is ice cold when I reach for it to crack the lid and pour three fingers into the glass.
It’s halfway down my throat before I really consider whether I needed it. The truth is I would probably have decided yes, I do. But I didn’t hesitate.
“Where the hell did you go?” Havoc asks when he sees me pouring another.
“I went for a ride,” I lie.
Havoc’s stance softens. “I would have come with you.”
I blow out a breath and swallow half the vodka I poured. Its icy coldness burns as it goes down. “I know you would, brother. But I just decided it was something I had to do right then and there, or I would have…”
Run from it.
I know if there hadn’t been Elsie waiting on me to help her, I would have turned around as soon as I saw my bike.
Havoc rounds the table in the kitchen and stops in front of me. “I get it. Was looking forward to riding out with you once you got back into the saddle, like old times’ sake. How was it?”
“Rusty. Was too fucking pissed to be riding really, but it felt like the only way I could get in the saddle.” I down the rest of the vodka, but I swear it starts to curdle in my stomach.
