Page 143 of Mercy Written in Blood

"I wanted to leave Takamori for a while. Travel. Study somewhere no one knew my name. Perhaps open a restaurant and fail at it."

"You expected failure?"

"I had never cooked anything more complicated than rice."

"That would have been a significant disadvantage."

Haruki smiled briefly.

"I might have learned."

"You still could."

"No."

The certainty mirrored Renji's own too closely.

"Why not?"

"Because people depend on me."

"That is not the same as being unable to leave."

"It is to me."

Renji understood obligation. He understood it when it was carved into the body so deeply that freedom felt like betrayal.

"You resent them," he said.

Haruki's face changed.

"No."

"You resent the position."

"I—"

"That does not mean you resent the people."

Haruki fell silent. Renji turned slightly towards him.

"You did not want to become Boss."

"No."

It was the first time Haruki said it without qualification. The words seemed to cost him. His shoulders lowered after them. Not in relief. In surrender.

"I never wanted it," he said. "Not for one day."

Renji watched him. Haruki's voice remained controlled, but control had become effort.

"I love them. My mother. Reina. Ken. The people who work for us. The families who have depended on ours for generations. I would do anything for them."

"I know."

"That's the problem."

Renji waited. Haruki's reflection met his.