Page 23 of Selkie AU: Beyond the Storm

Rowan’s hands traveled slowly up my arms. Then he was pulling them off him. “This isn’t a good idea.”

No, that’s because it was an excellent idea. Why was he still holding back? Did it bother himthatmuch that I wasn’t human? There wasn’t much I could do about that.

I stepped back with the burn of rejection aching in my chest. Rowan wouldn’t even look at me anymore. He just stepped to the side and walked back over to where the food was cooking.

12

Rowan

Milo was fucking pissed, and I couldn’t really blame him. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure why I was still so determined to keep him away from me. It was like he said, we were both…wanting… adults. I couldn’t lie to myself and say I didn’t want him. We both knew what each other was, so it wasn’t like there were secrets there.

But the fact remained that this was temporary. We couldn’t bemateslike he wanted. We couldn’t belong to each other. He was so full of life and curiosity. He was excited to be experiencing human things for the first time, but that would pass, and what would he be left with? Me? Boring, grumpy, uninteresting me.

I knew I’d upset him when I hadn’t let him kiss me. I’d so badly wanted to. It took all the strength I had left not to let myself get swept up by hurricane Milo. But it was better this way. Better for him if he stopped trying and decided I wasn’t worth the effort. Better for him if he moved on.

I finished cooking alone while Milo lay by the fire in seal form.

I’d hoped he would be lured back over by the smell of food when I was done, but I ate alone, and he didn’t even glance in my direction.

I put his food in the fridge and cleaned up the kitchen for far longer than necessary, unsure of what I’d do when I was finished.

The last two nights of poor or no sleep were catching up with me, and my whole body was heavy with exhaustion.

I sighed, walking over to Milo as he stared at the fire.

“I’m going to go to bed early. Will you be okay out here?”

He didn’t respond.

“Please don’t leave,” I added quietly, unsure I could cope if I came back out here in the morning to find him missing, not knowing where he was or if he’d been able to get home safely. This time he slowly turned to look at me, giving me a slow blink I wanted to interpret as him telling me he wouldn’t.

My head was a mess as I softly closed the door to my bedroom and changed into my sleep pants. Last night he was upset with me because I wanted to take him home, and tonight here I was asking him not to leave. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I was confused and lost like a boat out at sea facing an incoming storm.

The room was too silent, the soft ticking of my alarm clock missing from my nightstand. The folded towel I was using as a pillow wasn’t soft or particularly comfortable. And although I had my quilt back, there was an empty place in this big bed where Milo had slept the night before.

He was dangerous. I was already getting too attached to him.

Despite my exhaustion, I struggled to find sleep, so when the door to my bedroom clicked open, I heard it.

Milo was very quiet as he pulled up the blanket on the other side of the bed and eased himself in beside me.

I couldn’t make out much in the darkness, but I could tell he was looking at me.

He shuffled closer, and I let him. Clawed fingertips hesitantly found my exposed side. My fingers twitched with the desire to touch him back, and as he shuffled closer still, I did.

He was so warm. I was gentle as I explored the skin over his hip, then dared to trail higher.

“Do you want me, Rowan?” Milo whispered.

I exhaled heavily. “I can’t be your mate,” I whispered back.

“That isn’t what I asked.”

I should pull back. I should stop touching him, turn around and try to get some sleep. Fuck, what I should be doing is carrying him back to my boat and taking him home. It wasn’t what Iwanted, though.

“Yes,” I breathed.

His hand traveled higher, grasping the skin at my waist and pulling me closer. “Then have me.”