Page 121 of Ethan

“Yeah, sure,” Hank said.

Ethangotit—too many years with too many siblings with too many issues they pretended they didn’t have—but he didn’t have to like that Hank was trying to hide his bad mood from him.

“Don’t,” Ethan said.

Guilt swamped Hank’s eyes before he looked away. “I’m not . . . it’s just . . . I want to make this work and if this shit keeps happening—”

“That shit was not on you,” Ethan insisted.

Hank made a face as the plane taxied down the runway.

“No, I mean it,” Ethan said.

“Silas put me on the PK to make it better, and what, we give up the game-winning goal?” A frustrated noise escaped Hank’s mouth. “I just hate it. I want to contribute. I want to win. I don’t want tofail.”

Ethan couldn’t promise any of that, even if he wanted to. If he tried, then Hank would brush him off.

Instead, Ethan tipped his head onto Hank’s shoulder. Feeling him suddenly tense but then relax again. That gave Ethan the wordless assurance that he not onlycouldcontinue, but that heshould.

“You know it wasn’t just you out there, right?”

Hank grunted.

“Hockey’s a team sport—you know that. And you know what else? Weallwant that shit. That whole list of things you want? To win, to contribute, to not feel like a weight, dragging the team down? That’s all of us, Tuck.”

“But—”

“I’m not joking,” Ethan interrupted and Hank’s face creased in frustration again.

Maybe Ethan hadn’t known what Hank was going to say. But he could guess. He’d heard this shit out of Charlie’s mouth too many times to not have some idea of how Hank would push back. It wasalmostfunny, that Hank was a little afraid of Charlie, and yet they wereso fucking alike. Maybe, at a different, easier time, Ethan would throw a little pity party with himself about that. Howhadhe ended up with a guy who had too many similarities to his irritating brother? But the more time he and Hank spent together, the more Ethan realized that it wasalwaysgoing to be Hank. There was nobody else for him, ever.

“You’re being annoying,” Hank said, but it came out fond and warm. “Not even letting me sulk in peace.”

“Like I’deverlet you do that,” Ethan said cheerfully.

Hank sighed and one of his hands found Ethan’s knee, squeezing it. But even better, he was also leaning into Ethan now, not just Ethan leaning into him.

“The problem isn’t you.” Ethan kept his voice quiet.

“Eth,” Hank warned.

“I know, andyouknow. A lot of us know.”

“Yeah, but that team-sport thing you just said. We gotta like . . . I don’t know . . . compensate, somehow.”

“Somehow,” Ethan echoed.

“I thought I could, and I hate that I couldn’t.”

There it was again; practically word for word the same crap that Charlie had spouted after the end of the last season. Ethan nearly said it, but at the last second he swallowed it down. Just another thing he wasn’t saying; right along withI think we’re meant for each otherandI’m in love with you and I’m pretty sure you’re in love with me, too.

“I know,” Ethan said softly, leaning in more fully, letting the warmth and closeness wash over him. Hoping that it was giving Hank the same kind of comfort.

A relief, almost. An acknowledgment.You might’ve been alone, once, and you might’ve carried all this crap for a long time all alone, but you don’t have to. Not anymore.

“I talked to Bo yesterday,” Hank said in a drowsy, relaxed voice.

Ethan hadn’t been expecting that. Not that Hank talking to Bo was surprising. They kept in touch; they were friends.