Page 65 of Love in Development

Could I cave in so quickly?How important was this battle in the grand scheme of things?I looked down, where he still held me with the other hand.

He let go, whipping his hand away as if my arm were a hot stove.Was I just looking for another excuse to push him away?

I glanced around.People were definitely watching us.Two girls walked by; their eyes met mine as they leaned toward one another, whispering.I shifted uncomfortably.Here it was—the attention that being next to him would draw.My shoulders stiffened.My chest tightened.They were looking at me, judging me.They were all thinking what I was thinking.Why me?Who was I?The sun faded, hidden behind the shadow of a cloud.

“Look at me.”

I swallowed and met his eyes.The softness was gone, and the steel was back.

“I refuse to lose because of something I can’t control.Look at me and tell me that you don’t like me.That you won’t date me.That you are going to use them”—he gestured toward the students walking past—“as an excuse to reject me.To not forgive me.I’ve used everything up.All my skills and abilities.My weapons and armor are about broken.It’s all up to you.So will you be strong?Will you be my girl?The one I’ve come to know over the past thirteen months, or are you going to give up and go hide back behind your computer where it’s safe and reality doesn’t intrude?”

He was right.He was right about everything.He knew me to my core—he’d always had, as IK.It was time for me to make a decision.

He pivoted and started to follow the flow of people entering the building.His eyes focused on the ground, and I shivered at the loss of that gaze.My insides went cold.

And still, I hesitated.“Ni.”His name burst from me just as the sun reappeared from behind the clouds.

Click-click-click.His crutch hit the pavement as he walked, fading as he moved farther away.Someone bumped into me and kept on walking.My heart raced and my lungs heaved.I couldn’t lose him.The guy who knew me better than I knew myself.

“Ni,” I yelled, causing heads to turn, including his.“I already am your girl.”

Chapter 20

What in my closet wasdressy and casual?I slid hanger after hanger across the pole.I didn’t know where we were going, only that we were going to have dinner.Why couldn’t Ni at least tell me how to dress?I had a pair of black slacks for interviews, and I could pair them with a short-sleeved, emerald-green blouse.

I hadn’t even noticed the looks and whispering after the first few days; I was so caught up in Ni and our new relationship.We walked together from class to class.Had lunch together.Studied in the library.When I’d finally stopped to look at the reactions of those around me, the attention was there—but not as bad as I had assumed.And honestly, some of that could just be the fact that Ni was actually dating someone.

I wriggled into the slacks and tied the ribbon at the neck of the blouse.

We’d been together for an entire month, and I still hadn’t told him I was in love with him.We hadn’t even been on a formal date.I didn’t count him inviting me over to his dorm to finally vanquish the last boss in ourShadows of Forgotten Lordsquest.That had been really fun!Maddox being ShadowImp still spun my head as the huge guy pretended to be a silent assassin, and VerdantArcher had turned out to be one of Ni’s wingmen whom I’d seen in the bookstore the day he had asked me to the dance.

Neither had known who I was IRL.Ni played things close to the vest.Lin had gotten jealous when Maddox had become chatty and warmed up to me.There’d been a bit of hero worship from him at first, which was crazy, since he was a close friend and roommate of the legendary player IvoryKnight.I think it had something to do with the newness.

I French braided my hair, the same way I always did.Some habits die hard.I wore black flats.Thank goodness, he was only slightly taller than me.It was a great excuse not to wear heels.I applied a lavender-scented lotion to my arms.It made me think of Mom.I shuddered.She still didn’t know I had a boyfriend.I had no idea what I would tell her; she was still in her anti-men phase.

The doorbell rang.Lin answered the door, and Charisse sat on the couch, pouting.She was still a little upset that her Ni-guy was taken.I stopped in the entryway, spellbound.