Page 36 of Love in Development

ShadowImp gave VerdantArcher an antidote potion because he had begun to glow green with a poison curse.IvoryKnight and I pressed back-to-back with broad swipes of our swords to clear the immediate area around us.We moved our way over to VA and SI.VA, or the newly dubbed Hero, had switched to his rapier for the close-in fighting, but was having a hard time penetrating the giant centipede’s armor with the flimsy sword.ShadowImp was having a much better time with his dagger.It must have been enchanted.

With the four of us, the centipede went down fairly quickly.As soon as it died, there was an earthquake-causing roar from further within the cave tunnels.Rubble fell to the ground, dust billowed, and the bugs scurried away from us and toward the sound.We moved forward with our lights and exposed a giant moving lump, in the shape of a humanoid, covered in wiggling bugs.Squirming arms rose toward us as it assembled into an insect-man.

ScarlettSaber: If you have poison protection, put it on now.

Even with myring of protection, the first hit poisoned me, and my health bar pulsed, slowly dropping.We didn’t have long to take down thisBug King.Luckily, myblood swordworked fine, both doing damage and refilling my health bar.The biggest problem was how we would tear him apart, only for him to reform.This happened three times before ShadowImp used anultra-moveand did enough damage in one go and completely dissolved theBug King.Unsurprisingly, we all voted for SI to get first dibs at the loot box this time for finishing the boss.

The loot from these kills wasn’t bad, even when I was last to pick.It was helping inch up my college fund, bit by bit.Hanging out and fighting with the group was fun.They accepted me as I was.I worked as an integral part of the team.Not someone who carried or was carried by the others.But someone whose strengths and weaknesses were known and utilized to the ultimate efficiency.

As usual, the others jumped off right away, leaving me alone with IK.If there were any sly looks or joshing, that happened off-game.

We headed to our place under the willow without saying anything.It felt peaceful.It felt romantic.It felt like a date...Why was I thinking like this all of a sudden?Did he feel the same?He knew I was a girl—did he like me?Did I like him?

IvoryKnight: Want to hear my deepest, darkest secret?

ScarlettSaber: Excuse me?

IvoryKnight: I mean, I dont want to say hate...that seems so extreme, but I dont like organized sports.

ScarlettSaber: Are you bad at it?Or is it just a clique thing?

IvoryKnight: Neither.Dont get me wrong, I can see the positives of it.Being a part of a team and all, but the forced nature of it and the excessive expectations.That just isnt who I am.And I guess I’m a coward.Cause I cant tell my parents that.I just cant disappoint them.But it tears me up inside.I feel like the team would be better off without me.But then the season ends and I have more freedom, and I kinda forget about it until next season when its too late to do anything about it.Thats just between us.I cant tell anyone else that...Thanks for listening.

I swallowed.It sounded real.I could feel the pain through the screen.I touched his words with my fingertips, and I wanted to give back something real.So I bravely dug deep and revealed my darkest secret.Quid pro quo.My friends suspected—I was sure.But I never talked about it.

ScarlettSaber: I hate myself...physically.

IvoryKnight: The way you look?

ScarlettSaber: Yes.No, the idea that people are only attracted to the physical.My father left my mother and me.Abandoned years of emotional bond and love for someone young and physically beautiful.It makes me hate everything about me that could be considered attractive, especially if it came from him.

The tears dripped down my chin, and I swallowed the emotions down as I hit “send”.It was true.So very true.

IvoryKnight: Thats hard.At least we know our shortcomings.Right?Now we just need to

There was no period, as if he sent the first part but was thinking of what to say.Of what we needed to do.I hoped he would tell me because I was at a loss.

IvoryKnight: To overcome them.

In that moment, I knew.I could tell him anything.And I doubted myself.Was he being honest or just saying things to manipulate me?Would he change?Would he pressure me to expose myself like RogueStriker had?Would he only want to continue our relationship if he thought I was attractive?What did he get out of this?What was I getting out of this?And I was in serious trouble because I couldn’t imagine the future without him to talk to.The scent of lilies called to me alluringly.

I couldn’t have both.I pulled the bouquet out of the water and tossed it into the trash.