Page 172 of Just One More Thing

Charlie squeezes my shoulder and takes the stool beside me.

Bethany comes around the bar and sits on the other side.

Nobody talks.

Good.

Because there’s nothing I can say that won’t split me open.

I keep staring at the grain of the wood under my hands.

This morning, I sat on my porch and thought about bringing her coffee.

An hour ago, I was picking out Hank’s bandana and thinking about boats and breakfast and how happy I was.

Happy.

I almost laugh at that.

Now her coffee is on the floor of Holey Moley.

And she’s gone.

We sit there in silence while I try not to feel exactly what it feels like to be left all over again.

Only this time is worse.

Because this time I let myself believe she was staying.

CHAPTER 40

JAKE

Ididn’t sleep.

Just lay there all night, staring into the dark and thinking about every sign I didn’t want to see.

I reach over and pick up my phone again, swearing this is the last time I’m going to check.

Nothing.

No missed call.

No text.

No miracle.

Just my own reflection in the black glass, looking like a man who ought to know better than to keep checking for something that isn’t coming.

I’m not reaching out to her. She made her choice. I’m not chasing her. I’m not talking her into something she can’t choose on her own.

I want love without having to beg for it.

I laid myself all the way open once. Gave her the whole truth of me and stood there while she handed it back.

I’m not doing that again.

But I can do the one thing I know how to do when the hurt gets bad enough that I need something louder than it.