Page 59 of Bless This Hot Mess

Like curiosity’s a crime and men don’t do the same.

Eve valued knowledge, she chose to be free.

If God made us thinkers… then God sounds like SHE!”

Rebekkah’s mom nodded with approval and then her voice grew introspective as she dove into the bridge,

“Being a woman is

wondrous and dangerous

thrilling and ecstatic

vulnerable and daring

powerful, pragmatic.

It’s magical and mystical,

monstrous and menopausal.

Heart-squeezing, heart-breaking,

mind bending, body shaking!

It’s time to tell our story

and let everybody know…

She paused dramatically before belting out, “God’s not a dude!”

Rebekkah, almost laughing now, rolled her eyes and joined in to finish the song,

“God’s not a dude! She’s a dudette.

Look around the world, and you’ll see that it’s true!

Our Mother in Heaven is what we should say,

’cause God’s not a dude!”

The song faded on their lips, and her mother’s expression turned from soft to serious, “That’s right, Rebekkah. When you were young, I had to protect you and make tough choices for you, like not letting you do thatE.T.alien movie. If I wasn’t there, where would you be now?”

Rebekkah sighed, trying to suppress the what-could-have-been. “I’d have Drew Barrymore’s career and be starring in her new movie,Never Been Kissed. And I’d finally be kissed, by Michael Vartan!”

Her mother’s eyes widened in surprise, “Drew Barrymore played your role inE.T.?”

“Uh huh.”

“Wow. Well, I made some good decisions raising you, and I got a few wrong. But it was still a secular movie!” her mother added, her tone firm with finality.

Rebekkah gave her mother a small, tired smile, “I know, Mom. It’s okay. It was fun to play the donkey in the church Christmas concert instead.”

Her mother’s face lit up with pride, “You had anexcellentbray! And that’s what you’re going to do again, just as soon as that radio station calls and says, ‘It’s time, Rebekkah. It’s time.’ You’re going to go down to WWJD, you’re going to stand, or sit, whichever you’re most comfortable with, in front of that mic, and you’re going to make HER story.”

She paused, letting the weight of her words settle in. “That’s what people want to hear! They want to knowyou. Why do you think that reporter fromThe Napanee Beaverwas here today?”

Rebekkah shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips, "because you faxed him a press release?”