Page 15 of Bless This Hot Mess

Emma-Lou blinked, “God complex?”

Carrington nodded sagely, “Yes. You said, ‘let God do the heavy lifting. And that’s where I come in.’”

“That’s not what I meant…”

Carrington smirked, “Nietzsche said, ‘Is man one of God’s blunders? Or is God one of man’s blunders?’”

“Uh…” Emma-Lou was understandably lost, like her parents, though not quite as permanently.

“Be neither man, God, nor a blunder,” Carrington declared. “Be awoman.”

“Okay…” Emma-Lou agreed, confident she could do that.

Suwarna clapped once, drawing everyone’s attention. “Thank you, Carrington, for the distraction. As I was saying, I’m going to jump in here. From a WWJD programming director standpoint, I think you two are fantastic. You can obviously sing, and you’ve got a young, hip vibe.”

“Fashion is questionable,” Carrington interjected. “Itis, Suwarna. But nothing my wizardry couldn’t make wondrous. Sorry. Go ahead.”

Suwarna rolled her eyes, unfazed, “Ahem. As head of HR, we could get you onboarded swiftly. I assume yourmomager has a fax machine? We could send over a contract?”

Japheth and Rebekkah exchanged a quick look before both nodded eagerly. “Yes!”

“Great,” Suwarna continued. “From a strategy and accounting perspective, this looks very attractive. A small increase in our monthly expenditures could result in the non-absenteeism of our CEO.”

Emma-Lou’s face paled. “Are you talking about me getting murdered…?”

“But from alegalPOV,” Suwarna pressed on, “I’ll be transparent, I haven’t applied to law school, but I have watchedThe Firm. Many times.”

Carrington smirked, “She has a thing for Tom Cruise. Well, we both do.”

Japheth’s eyes lit up, “So do I. I mean, who doesn’t, right? Am I right?”

Suwarna grinned, launching into a Gene Hackman impression, “Do you think I’m talking about breaking the law?”

Carrington, without missing a beat, imitated their best Cruise, “No, I’m just trying to figure out how far you want it bent.”

As if on cue, Suwarna, Carrington, and Japheth recited in unison, “As far as you can without breaking it!”

Japheth sighed dreamily, “Such a good movie.”

“Anyway,” Carrington interrupted, “what Suwarna is trying to say is that, despite those twinning-yet-terrible bedazzled jumpsuits, we want to offer you…”

Suwarna grinned, “As winners of the1999 WWJD Not Short on Talenttalent show…”

Carrington raised a hand dramatically, “... your own weekly radio show!”

Japheth and Rebekkah froze, eyes wide, “What?! Are you serious? But we didn’t even…”

“However,” Suwarna cut in smoothly, “there are a few minor legal knots we need to slip free of. Rebekkah and Japheth, as R&J, you signed up for the1999 Not Short on Talenttalent show, you took the stage, but you didn’t technically perform.”

“Due to the technicality of Emma-Lou’s parents being lost at sea,” Carrington added solemnly, “and now pronounced passed.”

Suwarna nodded, “It would be unfair, unethical, and possibly illegal?”

“We’re not really sure…” Carrington admitted.

“... to offer you the prize when there was another entry in the talent show,” Suwarna finished.

Carrington’s eyes gleamed, “He was fantastic! I’m not sure if you could see from backstage, but his ball play was out of this…”