Page 97 of In the Same Boat

‘I think we maybe got a bit carried away,’ I admit eventually.

‘Meaning?’ he asks, one eyebrow raised.

I stare down at the cards spread across the table between us.

‘Meaning it’s not really… working.’

The words feel wrong in my mouth. Not because they aren’t technically true, but because I don’t want them to be.

‘What do you mean, not working?’

I shrug lightly, trying to keep it casual, but probably failing completely.

‘We thought there was something there,’ I say. ‘Turns out there wasn’t. She’s not right for me, Dad.’

The sentence lands on the table with a thud. Dad actually looks devastated.

I get why he’s disappointed, but it is what it is. And at least he’s happy.

‘Nico,’ he says slowly, ‘you two looked very convincing for people with nothing there. Come on, son, don’t do this…’

‘Do what?’

‘Did you upset her?’ he asks, ignoring my question.

I don’t know, did I? Did I do something wrong last night? Because I thought it was great. I guess it was just a one-time thing to her and, like she said, a mistake.

I don’t think any man likes to think of themselves as a mistake. It’s a knock to the ego, for sure, but I feel like a fool because I suppose I thought it was something more. I wouldn’t have let myself get carried away, if I didn’t…

‘I don’t know,’ I admit, my voice much lower than usual.

‘Well, go talk to her then.’

‘I’m giving her space.’

Dad snorts.

‘That’s bloke-talk for “I’m scared she’ll reject me”.’

‘I’m not scared,’ I insist in a way that does make me sound it.

Sammie has made things crystal clear. I know how she feels, what she wants, what she doesn’t want. It’s not my job to talk her round.

‘But you really like her, don’t you?’ he checks.

I open my mouth to automatically deny it, stopping when I hear footsteps approaching.

It’s Sammie and Chrissy, and immediately something feels wrong – well, more wrong than it did two minutes ago.

Chrissy’s smiling, but tightly. Like she’s trying very hard to keep a positive atmosphere by sheer willpower. Sammie’s expression is calmer than it was this morning, but more distant, I’d say.

Dad notices it too.

The whole deck seems to shift slightly as they walk over. I could swear the sun ducks behind a cloud, like when everyone scarpers right before the showdown in a western.

‘Everything all right?’ he asks immediately.

Chrissy glances briefly at Sammie before answering.