Page 96 of In the Same Boat

I finally got my wish, my excuse to get off this holiday, because this is what I wanted… isn’t it?

23

NICO

My dad isn’t gracious in victory. He throws down his cards and pulls the poker chips towards himself with a frankly evil giggle. It’s quite menacing really.

We play poker all the time and usually I’m an expert at reading him. There’s no elegance to his game. No subtle sleight of hand. He holds his cards a little too high, mutters to himself when he’s bluffing, and smiles like a man trying very hard not to look guilty every time he thinks he’s being clever.

Which is why I know immediately something’s wrong when he wins three hands of poker in a row. It’s not his game that’s changed, it’s my game that’s off.

‘It’s just not your day, is it, son?’ he teases me.

We’re out on the sun deck, just the two of us, playing cards.

Dad’s smile drops as his eyebrows jump.

‘Wait… are you letting me win?’ he checks.

‘Of course not,’ I reply.

‘Are you sure? Because, now that I think about it, you folded on a great hand…’

‘Story of my life,’ I joke.

He laughs, but he can tell something is up.

The afternoon sun hovers warm and bright over the marina while the yacht rocks gently beneath us, the sea shining brightly enough to hurt your eyes if you stare too long. This is usually my happy place – Dad always says I’m like a plant, that I need sunshine and outdoors to thrive – but not today.

Dad studies his hand suspiciously.

‘I’m sure you’re letting me win.’

‘I’m not.’

He narrows his eyes, like he doesn’t quite believe me, then shows me a royal flush.

‘See, that’s not my doing,’ I point out. ‘I’m just off my game today, that’s all.’

Dad looks at me, the smile fading from his face.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asks.

‘Ah, nothing,’ I insist.

‘Nico…’

I lean back in the chair and drag one hand over my mouth. Now my poker face is failing me. He might not be the best at cards, but my dad knows me well enough to recognise when I’m hiding something that’s on my mind.

‘You don’t seem too happy,’ he says. ‘I thought you’d be happy after last night.’

I glance out to sea.

‘You and Sammie seemed the most loved-up we’ve seen you both and, not just together but, well, ever. Chrissy said the same.’

I laugh softly to myself – not that this is at all funny. If only he knew.

I suppose I need to say something.