Page 5 of In the Same Boat

‘Right,’ he says, scanning the room strategically. ‘Where do we start?’

‘We don’t start anywhere,’ I point out. ‘We stand here. We drink. We talk.’

‘That’s not how this works.’

‘That’s exactly how this works,’ I reply.

He shakes his head, already spotting something – or someone – across the room.

‘Two o’clock,’ he says.

‘I’m not doing that,’ I say immediately, laughing it off.

‘What?’

‘The military clock thing, like this is some kind of operation, and you’re my lieutenant.’

‘You would be on the floor, dropping and giving me twenty, if I were,’ he replies. I see the light bulb spark behind his eyes. ‘In fact, that might actually attract women…’

‘No,’ I say quickly. I assume he was joking but I’m not taking any chances.

‘It’s an efficient way to give directions,’ he says. ‘Except now they’ve gone, I don’t know what time they’re at.’

‘Probably time to leave,’ I reply. ‘Which I’m hoping we’ll do soon.’

‘Look, quick, four o’clock. Blue dress,’ he says excitedly, ignoring me.

I follow his gaze – albeit reluctantly.

Two women. Late thirties, early forties maybe. Talking to each other, laughing at something, oblivious to the two men staring at them. I get the feeling they would rather keep it that way.

‘They look like they’re having a nice evening,’ I say.

‘Exactly,’ he replies. ‘And we could enhance that.’

I really, really don’t think we could, but he’s already on his way over there. Of course he is. I take a swig of my beer and follow him – maybe I can limit the damage.

‘Evening, ladies,’ he says, stepping into the space between them like he’s been invited.

The women look up, polite but cautious.

‘Hi,’ one of them replies.

‘We couldn’t help but notice you seemed like you were having a good time,’ he continues.

I close my eyes briefly. We. Why does he have to drag me into this? He could listen to me, at least. Take my advice. This is exactly how you don’t do this.

‘We are,’ the other woman says, smiling faintly.

‘Good,’ he says. ‘That’s good. Always important to enjoy yourself.’

There’s a pause. A long one, so I step in, anything to make this less awkward.

‘We don’t want to interrupt your evening,’ I say, offering a small, apologetic smile. ‘Just saying hello.’

‘Hello,’ the first one says again, a little warmer this time. She gives me a smile.

‘I’m Hank, it’s nice to meet you both.’