Page 90 of Don't Cross Mo Ellery

I’m trying to figure out how to get Leslie to be my friend and give me more complimentswithoutsounding needy, but I don’t get the chance because just then, the front door creaks open, and my new bff, the Dog Mom Extraordinaire, starts screaming.

Chapter 29

“HANNAH HAWKS!!!”Leslie screams.

Holy shit! Myoldbff! Two besties in one place! Let’s gooooo!

The dogs all start barking, and Hannah, who has just pushed open the door, looks like she is about one second from turning on her heels and running in the opposite direction, green screen in hand.

“Hannah!” I say and dash over to pull her into the office. I’m about to introduce her to Tasha, when Leslie somehow manages to slip between us, enveloping Hannah in a huge hug.

Okay, but I kinda wanted that hug. From, like, both of them.

“Hi,” Hannah says, glaring over Leslie’s head at me like I maybe did this on purpose. I shake my head, but it’s hard to convey complex topics like “I had no idea this was going to happen but trust me she’ssonice and also do you want to meet the girl I maybe possibly have a thing with?” from a head shake.

“You changed my life!” Leslie cries, clasping Hannah way too tightly.

“You’re... welcome?” she manages.

I’ve known Hannah was internet famous, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen the evidence in front of me. It’s pretty impressive how emotional Leslie is right now, and I try to push down my feelings of inadequacy.

And also, I can’t help but notice Hannah’s being a little bit rude again? Like how she was when my parents were gushing about her success earlier today? I would kill to have someone gush about how much I changed their life.

The only thingmygreat ideas and dedication got me was a low-wage crossing guard gig, a depressingly single life after a failed decade-long relationship, and a murder investigation that I’ve just realized I have no handle on whatsoever.

Then my eyes drift over to Tasha and I reconsider the “depressingly single” bit.

“Hannah, this is Leslie, Alderman Carey, and Tasha,” I say, trying to put a little emphasis on “Tasha.”

Leslie finally pulls away, and she is absolutely beaming.

“Leslie Carey, chief of staff,” Leslie says to Hannah. “But my real job is Dog Mom Extraordinaire.” She winks at Hannah, exactly like she did with me. It’s silly, but that stings.“Sogreat to meet you IRL.” She turns to Merle. “That means ‘in real life.’?”

For his part, Merle is starting to look like a man who’s accidentally walked into a gynecologist’s exam room. He glances back toward his office distractedly, and says, “I’m sure I’ve got some... paperwork back there. Stay safe, everyone. And don’t forget to vote.”

Then, crutches scraping against the floor, he makes the longest, most awkward exit I have ever seen.

While I watch Merle go, Leslie is regaling Hannah with all the ways Hannah’s UPGRADE training has changed her life and helped her be her best, most assertive self, and when the alderman disappears into his office, I turn my full attention back to them, only todiscover that Hannah’s shooting me some pretty serious rescue-me looks. Which, I don’t know, isn’t having nice old lady fans gush over your work the whole point of being internet famous?

But Hannah did come all the way here for me, so I do my part. “I’msosorry to interrupt, but we have some important business to attend to,” I say to Tasha and Leslie, which I really hate because Hannah hasn’t even gotten to talk to Tasha or, like, appreciate how hot she is.

“Do you have to?” Leslie asks, clearly crushed.

“Unfortunately,” I say, collecting the dogs. “You know what they say—the internet never sleeps!”

Leslie nods solemnly. “They do say that, don’t they?”

“Yep,” Hannah and I reply at the same time.

Then she gives Hannah one last appreciative hug while I turn to Tasha.

“I’ll text you,” I say.

“Please do,” Tasha says in a tone of voice I can’t quite figure out. “Would love to... finish what we started.”

I’mreallyhoping she means in a sexy way and not a “you’re a paranoid weirdo, I’m done” way. Just because I was wrong about her boss doesn’t mean I’m wrong about everything. I turn to wave as I walk out of the door, but she’s already notarizing, absently pushing back the one strand of hair falling across her face. Dreamiest Notary Public in all the land. Sigh.

Out on the sidewalk, Hannah’s walking quickly, and I have to jog to catch up. The three dogs trot along with me.