Page 118 of Don't Cross Mo Ellery

Just not right now.

I wave my arms frantically.

“Hannah!” I call out, and we approach, our slow murderous entourage and dog pack, and as Hannah turns to face us, I realize I’ve just led her stalker, the one she is absolutely terrified of and came to me for protection from, straight to her.

“Hannah Hawks!!!”Leslie screams. Then her voice lowers dramatically like in those demon possession movies. “This is your fault, you bitch! None of this would’ve happened if you’d just responded to my messages!”

Boy, those fangirls will really turn on you.

And with that, Leslie gets another wind, sprints past the dogs, past me and Benny, and makes a beeline for Hannah, murderous syringe aloft. Hannah’s eyes widen.

Tond leaps out of the way and lands face down on the parkway, protecting himself with the orange cone over his head.

“Lesliebear?” Merle says feebly.

And suddenly I get the full picture. Maybe too late.

One time, I had a twinge of knee pain and was convinced it was osteoarthritis. I searched for treatments for days, went down a surprisingly intense rabbit hole, and became very attached to an experimental new treatment. You could only get it if you were part of some study. By the time I emerged from said rabbit hole, my knee was fine again, and I completely forgot.

The “bleeding edge” of experimental arthritis treatment isBotox.

OfcourseLeslie would pull out all the stops for Charlie’s dog arthritis. And I would bet approximately 11.5 grand that the syringe Leslie is currently wielding is filled with Botox, AKAbotulism.

This revelation happens in slow motion. In my mind, I mean. In real life it happens at top speed.

Benny breaks away from me, running toward Hannah.

But he’s not going to be able to get to her first. Leslie is too fast. She’s the fastest old lady in the world.

Hannah is frozen in place.

Benny leaps into the air, full-on horizontal, arms outstretched, like he’s going to tackle Hannah. He’s too far away, but somehow it’s still just enough. His palms justbarelyreach Hannah’s knees. He pushes her backward onto the curb.

Leslie’s momentum betrays her, and she stabs the syringe into the air where Hannah’s neck used to be, stumbling over Hannah’s legs, and smashing face-first into the hood of a parked car.

The car alarm goes off, and I’m having flashbacks to Cran’s Kia in the sinkhole all over again.

Benny slides across the metal plate covering the sinkhole.

Benny keeps sliding.

Benny slides right into the sinkhole.

Chapter 36

“Benny?” I squeak, peeking over the hole.

Nothing. Infinite darkness.

Finally, one sexy forearm emerges and grips the metal panel. A matching one follows. Down below, his feet are balanced precariously on a slippery-looking pipe of some kind.

“Don’t panic, Benny!” I say, panicking. “Just hold on for a few minutes. You’re probably safer down there anyway.”

“What?” he groans.

I glance up and see a dazed Leslie trying to shake off the impact of hitting the car. “Just gotta take care of this murderer thing real quick. BRB.”

Right. The murderer thing. How to take care of it.