Page 114 of Don't Cross Mo Ellery

It was sentyesterday.

What are the chances that I’d lose $11,500, and then some stalkery rando would offer Hannaha different$11,500 on the same day? I’m no math genius, but I’d saynot great.

Holy shit.

The Benny statue ab thief and Hannah’s stalker arethe same person.

So who is it?I squeeze my eyes shut and think back to the only time I mentioned the money—that moment in the alderman’s office when I told Tasha where I’d stashed it.

I remember spritzing myself in the face with the plant spray, and I do that again, mentally, to make my brain focus harder. I’m missing something. Something so obvious, it keeps slipping out of sight. And then it hits me.

Weweren’talone.

Merle was in his office, but his door was definitely shut.

However, on the other side of those flimsy, definitelynotsoundproof cubicle walls was the sound of a copy machine.

An image of Val pops into my head, brown envelope tucked under her beige arm, scowl on her face. No, wait. She left for the post officebeforeI told Tasha about the money.

But Leslie was still there.

Leslie, who seems to be slightly obsessed with Hannah and UPGRADE.

No, no, no, not my new bff! She’s too sweet. She’s who I want to be when I grow up. She’s not a big creepo.

I think about the charming way she winked at me. The way she seemed so confident about being a great dog mom and then made me feel confident aboutmydog mommery. Why would a big creepo do that?

Unless. No way.

Did Leslie Carey friggin’UPGRADEme into liking her? Did I actually fall for an UPGRADE?? She wasn’t seeing some buried truth about me and my dog parenting—she told me the lie I wanted to hear. Because it’s undeniable. I amnota good dog mom, like, empirically. I know this! It’s why I’m trying to get the dogs adopted by someone who is!

Damn, Hannah isgood.

But hang on—Leslie wouldn’t have done that for shits and giggles. Han created UPGRADE as a tool you use to get what you want. So what did Leslie want from me? Statue ab money? Clearly. Access to Hannah? Well... no, actually. She had already UPGRADEd mebeforeHannah burst into the office.

So if she didn’t know Hannah was my bestie... what could she possibly want fromme? And why would she try to get it by making me feel confident about the poodles?

Okay. Leslie definitely loves dogs, that’s for sure. It’s like Benny said, she doesn’t care about the parking garage or Claudia’s house or the bribing or any of that alderman stuff Merle cares about. She’s only got eyes for Charlie.

I even hear Leslie’s voice in my head.My real job is Dog Mom Extraordinaire!

And Merle:I’m kind of the third wheel in this family.

Oh my god. Wait.

Now my mind is going a million miles a minute, but not in a spiral to nowhere. It’s drivingtowardsomething in a fancy, expensive car kind of way.

Yeah, I admit it—I fell for Leslie’s UPGRADE because I wanted to feel confident about being a dog mom. But what did she actuallysay?

That the poodles were fat and happy.

The same poodles SHE was wantonly feeding fattening “purse dogs” at Cran’s funeral, while giggling inappropriately.

The same poodles who, under Cran’s parentage and Benny’s tutelage, were lean, mean, dog show–winning machines.

Andthe same poodles who—before their “fat and happy” makeover under my care—were Charlie’s biggest competition at the Great American Dog Show, according to Benny.

What if Leslie needed me to keep the poodles in pepperoni so there’s no way they could compete? And then what if she needed Hannah’s help to UPGRADE the dog show judges into, say,letting Charlie win. How far would she go to secure Charlie’s future as dog king?