Page 103 of A Witch in Notting Hill

“I had no idea it was going to become a scandal,” she said. “Thought it was just a bit of celebrity gossip. I even left thetip anonymously so no one thought it came from a member of your team. And no one had done much of anything with the information at first, anyway, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. It only became a big deal when they tracked you down and saw you with Oliver. Which I had nothing to do with, I promise. I’d never compromise your safety. I just figured it might help you stick to the story and maybe even interest you in—”

“This was all a scheme?” I stood up from the stool, needing distance between us. Needing something to do with my body. “Be honest, V. Was it to protect me or Oliver at all, or was it just to get me to agree to your stupid romance idea? To play into the rumors and get a movie out of it? Have you forgotten this is the exact argument that landed us here in the first place?”

“It was wrong,” she said. “I made the wrong call. I know that. And I’m sorry, Willow.”

I was silent. I wanted those words to settle. I wanted to feel them. I wantedherto feel them.

“I should have gone back on the story once I realized you and Oliver were getting more serious. But I thought you were being careful, so I didn’t expect any ofthis.”

“Are you blaming me?”

“Of course not,” she said. “The rumor was my fault in the first place. But you did let your guard down, Willow, which I thought we were going to avoid.”

“God forbid I try to have a normal-person moment for one second.”

“That’s the thing,” she said. “You aren’t a normal person. So if you want to be kissing in the woods, you have to expect the worst.”

“Then maybe I want to actuallybea normal person,” I said, without having realized I even had that thought until the words were out of my mouth. It felt like a line. VeryIt’s not my dream,Dad. It’s yours.But the more it hung in the air between us, the truer it felt.

I didn’t want to always expect the worst. What kind of life was that?

And it wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful for my career. I knew how lucky I was to have had the opportunities I’d had, to be in a position where I could choose to take a step back if I wanted to. That wasn’t lost on me.

It was just that I was missing out on everythingelse. The lazy days, long walks, pub quizzes, day trips, sitting around a friend’s flat with nowhere to go and no one to see. Kissing a damn boy and not having it plastered all over the internet.

“You don’t mean that,” Vera said, widening her eyes when I didn’t answer right away. “Do you?”

“I don’t know. This was obviously the first time I’ve said it out loud, and it’s a lot to think about. But I don’t want to take it back, I know that much.”

“All because of this guy? Willow—”

“Not because of this guy,” I said, growing increasingly frustrated. “Because of my inability to even pursue anything with a guy without a camera in my face. Because of my inability to explore my magic or learn a damn thing about myself because I don’t have a minute to breathe back home and this whole part of me has to stay a secret. I’m missing out on a social lifeanda personal life.”

“Let’s not get carried away, here. You have quite the social life.”

“Not with anyone I care about,” I countered. “It’s just parties and galas and appearances and award shows and premieres and shit. When was the last time I just sat in a pub?”

“Do you even like pubs?”

“I love pubs! But I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t had the opportunity to go to one.”

“I’m glad my misfortune is so convenient for you.”

“You know that’s not what I mean,” I said. “I just mean the opportunity to not be Willow James for five minutes. To be far from home and to blend in and just exist in a city where I’m not filming or attending some event or getting ready to go to another city.”

The more I talked about it, the more I gained momentum. The idea was slowly becoming less of an interest and more of a necessity. I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing. I needed to start prioritizing myself and my magic, and that wasn’t going to happen in Hollywood. Hell, I wasn’t even sure that was going to happen in LA.

“So, what? You’re just done acting? You don’t have to do a romance, Willow, if that’s what this is about.”

“It’s not about the romance. It’s aboutme.” Why was it so hard for everyone to see that? “Actors take breaks all the time. Would it really be such a big deal?”

“It would be if you wanted to get back into the industry after you were done being a ‘normal person.’”

“What if I didn’t?”

“Willow, be serious.”

“I am being serious. Maybe I’d like being a normal person.”