Page 76 of Wear It Like a Crown

“Right behind you. Just need to take out the rubbish.” Themoment the words were out, Joshua hated himself for them. This nasty, vengeful person that took delight in the way Leo’s eyes widened in hurt—Joshua didn’t want to be that.

This isn’t like you.

“Joshua,” Leo said, very softly. “Please don’t.”

Swallowing, Joshua leaned his hip against the doorframe and crossed his arms. He inhaled through his nose. The nauseating pressure behind his forehead made it hard to think. “Sorry,” he muttered. “That was out of line. My point stands, though. You’re not invited, and you’ve got some nerve showing up here.”

“I…” Leo cleared his throat, blinked and lowered his gaze to the floor. “I really need to talk to you. Set some things straight.”

Like how Joshua had been a bloody fool for believing they’d had a connection when Leo had never made a single promise? Thanks, but no thanks.

“Not interested,” Joshua said.

Leo’s gaze skimmed up Joshua’s legs, over his torso, briefly clung to his face and then skittered away. “Please, little prince. You should know that I never?—”

“Don’tlittle princeme,” Joshua interrupted. He felt sick to his stomach. “And save your excuses ‘cause I don’t want to hear them. So let’s just… stay out of each other’s life.”

Leo was quiet for a short while, his shoulders drawn tight and lips pressed into a firm line. He’d never seemed less self-assured. The light in the stairway flicked off automatically, plunging them into sudden shadow. How delightfully symbolic. Joshua fumbled for the switch, and Leo squinted into the brightness, seeming momentarily disoriented before he collected himself and met Joshua’s eyes.

“Nate is my best mate, Mo is yours. I don’t think Mo is playing with Nate—I will fuck him up if he is, but… Yeah, I don’t think so. Which means that you and Iwillbe in each other’s life. Whether you like it or not.” Leo’s voice had gained an edge of confidence. “This would be my usual pub night with Nate, remember? We’re overlapping already. D’you really want to spoil this for them?”

It was a low blow. In fact, it was downright manipulative, and whileLeo had a point, Joshua wouldn’t be played like this. He stood up straight and glared at Leo. “I wouldnever. That doesn’t mean I have to let you into my flat.”

“Well,” Leo said, tilting up his chin. “But things would be much easier if you and I agreed to a truce, don’t you think so?”

No. No, Joshua did not think so.

He was about to say just that when Mo’s laughter drifted out of the living room, mingling with the sound from the telly, with Tristan’s shout and Ed’s bright voice, then a chuckle from Nate. The words died in Joshua’s throat. For a long second he merely stared at Leo, his skin stretched too tight over his bones.

“Why are you here?” Joshua asked eventually.

“To talk to you. And to watch the game, but mainly to talk to you.” Leo’s answer came out low and sincere, and Joshua didn’t know what to believe anymore.

“So you’re not just here for Ed?”

Leo’s brows pulled together. “Ed?”

“Ed Sheeran.”

“Shit, he’s here?” Leo released a rush of air, then shook his head. “No, that’s not—that’s cool, but it’s not why I’m here.”

While Leo was a good actor, his reaction had seemed genuine. God, this was all just so… stupid. So messed up and tangled, and Joshua didn’t know; he just didn’tknow.

“I’m not ready to talk to you.”

Leo glanced away and shifted his weight, tugging at the hem of his jersey. “Okay,” he agreed softly. “Then I’ll stay out of your way until you are. But please don’t make our friends choose.”

Manipulative bastard. Why did hecareso much about Joshua letting him in? Was it really just so he wouldn’t miss out on a football night with friends, or was he serious about his need to talk to Joshua? Was he desperate enough to use Mo and Nate as an excuse to stay in Joshua’s life? Joshua swallowed against the sour taste in his mouth.

“Don’t talk to me,” he said, the words rough and scraping over his palate. “Not unless I talk to you first.”

He didn’t wait for Leo’s reply. Just turned and left the door open,didn’t look over his shoulder as he made his way back to the others. He imagined he could feel Leo’s gaze lingering on the nape of his neck—like a phantom touch, like cobwebs brushing over his skin.

* * *

So this would be every bit as difficult as Leo had feared.

Lingering in the dimly lit entryway, he took his time toeing off his trainers and told himself he had no right to feel hurt. Really, he should be grateful Joshua had let him in at all, even though it had taken Leo using their friends as a weapon to make it happen. Jesus fuck, how was Leo supposed to undo the hurt he’d caused without giving away too much? How could he convey what was at stake—for bothof them—without telling Joshua the worst of his past? The pretty apology Leo had wanted to offer seemed painfully inadequate after he’d had to fight dirty just to get inside the flat.