Page 160 of Wallflower

Fuck.

The man occupying my thoughts mumbles imperceptibly from my lap, eyebrows scrunching slightly, as his eyes dart beneath closed lids. I wonder what he’s dreaming about. I glide my free hand through his wavy dark shag once more, and he soothes.

The lasagna we made earlier really should go in the oven, I don’t want it to go to waste, but Rip looks so soft and innocent while asleep. I hate the thought of waking him. I rarely ever get to observe him like this. I’m always the one sleeping too much. Life without my sister is hard, and not knowing whathappened is unbearable. Rip makes the moments between my sadness worthwhile, but it’s always there, lingering, waiting for its opening to swoop in and smother the happiness.

Slowly, I start to inch my way out from beneath him. The bead of sweat trailing along my hairline forcing me to get up and move. Ripley stirs, rolling over, face snuggling into my abdomen as his arm bands around my middle.

“Don’t leave,” he murmurs, melting all my thoughts of escape.

“I need to make our dinner.”

“Not yet.” His sleepy voice is deep, raspy, and so fucking sexy. He could ask me to dust the living room in nothing but a raptor mask right now, and I’d happily oblige.

“Okay.” I let my muscles unwind, relaxing back into the cushions as Rip slips back into sleep. Leaning over, I pick my phone off the end table. Swiping, I open my reading app, picking up where I last left off.

Ripley moves in my lap, elbow digging into my thigh as he wakes. Lifting my head off the back of the couch, a twinge of pain shoots through my stiff neck. My phone lies on the hardwood a good distance away, having fallen from my hand when I unintentionally fell asleep.

Shifting around, Rip pulls his phone from his pocket, screen lighting up as it vibrates in his hand. He glances up at me with a content smile before answering the call. “What’s up, Buck? The kids giving you grief already?”

The panicked cadence of Bucky’s voice ratchets up my heart rate, awakening a nauseating dread in my gut. I can’t make out what he’s saying, but I don’t need to. Ripley’s face morphsfrom that loving happy smile, downturning in a mix of negative emotion. But there, beneath all the sorrow, is a breath of fresh relief.

That’s all I ever wanted for him, and now that I know he has that sense of peace, I’ll weather whatever shitstorm I’ve created with my protective actions.

Briskly, he leaves the room, bare feet slapping down the beechwood floors to our bedroom as his voice fades.

Should I follow? Is it more suspicious if I don’t?

He returns before I can make a decision. “Is everything okay?” Ripley’s stripped himself of the comfy clothes, dressed impeccably in a black button up, black lightweight dress pants and…all-black Converse high tops. I suppress the snicker. It’s so perfectlyhim, I shouldn’t have expected anything less.

“I have to go.” His face is stern, the emotionless crime boss rising to the surface. The drastic change in his features and the presence he exudes awakens something in me.

“Why?”

“It’s Shan—Bucky’s sister. Something happened to her.” I watch the anguish slice across his stoic persona at the first syllable of her name, and I’m pissed all over again. Not an ounce of regret heavies my heart or mind.

“Do you want me to come?”

“Yes,” he says, and I rise from the chesterfield without hesitation. I can fake grief and shock for him, be the supportive partner at his side. I won’t abandon Rip if he needs me. “But you can’t.”

“What? Why?” I squawk, stalling in my steps.

“The cops have to be called.”

“So?”

“You’re a missing person with some very deceased parents. I can’t have you seen. They’ll take you from me.”

“The hell they will!” I argue. “I don’t even look the same!”

“I’m not willing to risk it. I’m sorry.” His words are final.

“Ripley, you can’t be serious. If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

His tortured eyes lift to the ceiling, an internal battle waging deep within him.

I cross the small distance between us, wrapping my arms around his middle. “Fine. I’ll stay here,” I murmur into his chest, breathing in that soothing scent. I’ll concede so he doesn’t tear himself apart. I can’t bear the sight of it over something like this. Shantel deserved that terrifying death. I don’t need to worry, he’ll be back beside me as soon as possible, searching for that softness I provide. I’m the eye of his swirling tornado, the calm in the chaos. His safety as he is mine. “But call me if you need me. I’ll answer.”

Rip embraces me in return, placing a kiss on the top of my head. “She’s gone, and I don’t know how I feel about it.” he whispers against my hair like it’s a secret he’s ashamed to admit.