Page 124 of Kissed By the Trillest Thug 2

“Me?” I said with a chuckle.

She nodded.

“Not because you’ve done anything wrong. You scare me because…”

She searched for the words. “This feels real.”

She looked down at her hands before smiling to herself.

“I’ve spent so much of my life keeping people at arm’s length. I was always making sure nobody got close enough to disappoint me.”

Her eyes found mine again.

“And then you showed up. You make me laugh. You make me feel seen, and you remember little things I tell you without me having to repeat them.”

She glanced toward the bouquet sitting on the kitchen island.

“You remember things like my favorite color. My favorite snacks. The way I take my coffee.” A soft laugh escaped her. “Who even remembers how somebody takes their coffee?”

She looked at me, and we were both quiet for a little minute.

“I like you too. A whole lot more than I was planning to.”

I couldn’t help but grin.

“So,” I placed my textbook onto the coffee table, “we definitely ain’t passing this study session today.”

“Probably not,” she laughed.

I looked over and looked at Penn, and I mean really looked at her. She was so damn pretty, so damn quirky and just perfect. Being around her just felt right. I thought of everyone in my family, and I felt like things were lining up for us exactly how it was supposed to. Pops and Ma have the new baby coming, Mali has Tahari, Maylee is the head honcho of her little friend group, and here I was with Penn. Everybody found their spot in life.

Chapter 24

Ghost

Empty Chinese containers covered the nightstand, and a pizza box sat open on the table in my room from two nights ago. An overflowing ashtray rested beside a bottle of liquor that had long since gone warm. I looked around my room. It looked exactly how I felt. A bitter laugh escaped me.

“This is some bullshit.”

I left my room and then took my sorrows to the living room. But everywhere in this damn house was a reminder of Trigga. This was the couch we’d sat on watching basketball.

I glanced behind me at the kitchen where we’d argued over who made the better wings. And then there was his bedroom that was still back there untouched. I got up and headed in that direction. I stood in the doorway for a while before entering. I hated my mother for leaving this room exactly how he had left it. On the dresser in there was a picture of him and me. We were at one of the parks on the basketball court. I’m sure for some summer league that our father urged us both to do.

Sayingourfather still sat sour in my mouth. When we were younger, he had the better life, and now we were both grown men and still, he had it better than I did.

“So that’s it? You just gone make that decision and stand on it?”

I was in an empty apartment, but I was talking to that picture on the dresser as if he could hear me.

“It’s cool…”

Before I knew it, I was knocking shit off his dresser. Snatching shit off the walls and tipping the nightstands over. I was angry. So fucking angry, and this was the only way I knew how to get some of this anger out.

When I was done tearing the room apart, I stood in the middle of the chaos, breathing heavily. I stood and walked over to the window. The city moved like nothing had changed. People outside laughed, and cars drove by casually. Life kept going for everyone but me. I thought about Ryan. The pressure was getting worse, and I needed to make some shit shake and fast.

I rushed back to my room and knocked the pizza box off the table. Underneath it were my car keys and my gun. For a long moment, I just stared at them, then I picked up the gun, and it felt familiar in my hand. It felt like the only thing in my life that hadn’t changed. I needed to speak to Trigga one last time. I needed him to understand that helping me was crucial. I grabbed my keys and locked the apartment behind me.

I didn’t belong in this apartment complex. The only reason I got in was because I snuck in behind somebody coming through the gate before it had a chance to close. I spotted Tahari’s Chevy Impala the second I turned the corner toward his building. I had called him twice on the drive over, and he didn’t even bother to answer. A humorless laugh escaped me.