Page 93 of Murder in Blackfriars

Joanna had arranged their departure for Thursday, so I could come to say good-bye to Grace. Sam had already gone on Tuesday, needing to begin his post and make certain the house was ready to receive his wife and offspring.

I dressed with numb fingers, deliberately going through my ritual of washing my face and hands, pulling on my work dress, and combing and settling my hair. It was as though if I took my time, I’d never reach the station, and the train bearing Grace would never leave.

I made my way downstairs and woodenly went through the preparations for breakfast, though I could eat nothing myself. Tess, who knew what I’d do this day, had nothing but sympathy.

“She’ll be all right,” she said softly. “And you’ll see her again before you know it.”

“Perhaps Iwillgo hunt for a position in Basingstoke,” I said as I shaped a loaf of bread and popped it into a pan for its second rise. “I would not have such a pain in my heart, I think.”

“I’d have one,” Tess said. “I don’t mean to be selfish, but if you go to Basingstoke, I’ll have to come with you. I’m not ready to be on me own. Besides, you have your market stall now. You shouldn’t leave it.”

“I’m certain they have markets in Basingstoke.” I sighed. “Forgive me, Tess. You are right. She will be only a little farther away than she is now, and next summer, we’ll be together for always. I believe you are indeed ready to be a cook in your own right, but fear not. I’ll not desert you.”

While Tess looked relieved, I tried to bolster myself with my own words, but today, the sorrow was too fresh.

The train would go at ten this morning. Once Tess sent up breakfast, I returned to my chamber and donned my best frock, again with fingers so numb I could barely do up the buttons.

In the kitchen once more, I put on my coat and hat and took up my basket.

I had the entire day free, so I’d do my baking at Daniel’s house in Kensington—he’d given me a key not long ago—and then take my goods to the market. I tried not to think of how empty his kitchen would be while I was in it by myself, nor how much less exciting the market would be without Grace next to me, wrapping the purchases.

Joanna had made me agree to meet them at Waterloo Station, which was across the river, via Waterloo Bridge, instead of coming to the now-vacant house. I trudged along toward the station, too agitated to try to sit tamely in a transport.

When I reached Trafalgar Square and crossed it toward the Strand, Daniel came out of nowhere to fall into step with me. His tall son flanked me on my other side.

“Won’t let you say good-bye on your own,” James informed me. “Besides, it’s our good-byes too.”

Grace had informed me not long ago that she believed James was sweet on Jane, Joanna’s oldest daughter. I patted his arm in commiseration.

“We will put on brave faces,” I told him. “And not make it any harder for them to go.”

James nodded, but I could see he was morose.

We continued down the Strand, then turned to Wellington Street, which led to Waterloo Bridge. Our route took us past Somerset House, where Mr. Thanos and Cynthia had diligently sifted through records. I’d made certain they and Miss Townsend were showered with sweet treats every day for what they’d done for Daniel.

At Waterloo Station, we found the train steaming gently on its platform, and a haggard Joanna, who was trying to keep track of all the boxes and bags they’d brought, and also five children. The boys followed the porters to make certain all their things were loaded while the girls tried to calm their mother.

Grace flew to me and caught me in an embrace.

“Oh, Mum, I don’t want to go.”

She said it so Joanna wouldn’t hear, but I hugged her tightly. “We’ll be together again soon,” I vowed.

Joanna waved to us and began herding her brood into the train. “Hurry now, or we’ll miss it,” she called.

As Joanna approached us, I saw that her face was drawn, her eyes red-rimmed. She was torn, poor lass, between the home she’d always known and the husband she loved, who waited for her at journey’s end.

“Kat.” Joanna opened her arms to me, and Grace surrendered me to her. “I will miss you so much. You’ve always been here for me, my friend.”

“I will still be here for you,” I said. “And I’ll visit next week, and all the weeks after. You’ll be tired of having me underfoot.”

I’d decided I would do the market only on Monday afternoons for now. Thursdays would see me on a train very much like this one, speeding across green England to my daughter.

“Never,” Joanna sobbed. She pulled away from me, wiping her eyes. “Look after her, Daniel. Don’t be so enamored of your new family that you forget the rest of us.”

Daniel laughed. “As though I could.” He startled Joanna by embracing her as well. “She will keep fine, and you’ll see her as much as you like. Go on, now. Give Sam my best wishes.”

Joanna nodded. She wiped her eyes again and gestured her children toward the train, which they still had not boarded. James was speaking quietly to Jane, who blushed and would not look directly at him.