Page 69 of Heavensent & Hellbent

“Right, of course he is,” he said sarcastically. “Do you know how big a deal this is?”

“Well, no, it was only a few weeks ago that I found out jinn exist. And now I’m…”One of them.

“How could you not know?” His eyebrows knitted together.

I found myself getting defensive. None of this was my fault. I tried to temper my irritation with quick, quiet breaths. “I mean, didyoureally not know? Or suspect anything?” I shot back at him. “When you had visions of our past selves, why did you think we weren’t allowed to be together—why we were killed for it?”

He didn’t say anything at that, his silence loud. Perhaps he was burying his head in the sand just as much as I was.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you’d see me differently. I thought if I just avoided you, maybe…I didn’t quite think that far. But the last thing I wanted was for you to stare at me the way you are now, like I’m a monster,” I continued.

His assessing stare moved away from my eyes, and a deepsound came from his throat. As he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, I swore I heard acrack. He removed his hands, pressing them to his thighs. “That’s not what I’m thinking.”

When he didn’t elaborate, I said, “He told me my mum was a jinn, but my dad’s human. I don’t think Dad knows anything about any of this. And I guess my mum wanted us to live normal lives. Maybe she thought that would change something with us if I didn’t know.”

“So you’re half jinn?” he asked, like that was something to cling to.

I shrugged. “I guess. But what if jinn aren’t all bad? What if it’s their upbringing that makes them that way?”

“Jinn are evil, Roxana. They were created to spread evil. That’s the whole point.”

“Jamshid doesn’t think so. Your way of looking at them is too simplistic,” I shot back, my words sharper than intended.

“So you think the beings brought to Earth to create sadness and tragedy are ‘misunderstood’?”

I pressed my back into the car door, wishing I could sink into it and disappear. At least I knew I could make a quick exit if needed. “If you think I’m so terrible, why are you still here?”

“You’re not…” He sighed. “You’re different.”

“What about Ehsan? He’s half jinn too. Do you think he’s evil? He’s just a child,” I said quietly.

He shook his head. “Jinn come in different forms. The bad they produce can be small. Even unintentional. Like, I’m meant to be focusing on my charge. But I’m not. I’m here with youinstead. And I physically can’t leave. The pull I feel toward you…I feel like if I’m not careful I’d choose you over anyone and anything. Maybe that’s enough?”

His words twisted in my gut.

Frustrated, I said, “You don’t have to be with me. I didn’t ask you to come here. If anything, I tried to keep my distance so we wouldn’t make the same mistakes as our past selves. Except…that dream I had just now. I think you had already died, and my past self could speak to snakes, and she asked a cobra to kill her. She couldn’t live without you.”

“The other night, I dreamed of a self I hadn’t before,” he said slowly. “He died of cholera, I think, around the time of the Persian famine.”

“Well, there you go. Even apart, our lives still end early.” A sad, sobering realization.

Zain let out another noise—this time it sounded like it came from deep in his belly. He shifted closer so there were only inches between us, gazing down at me with a fierceness in his eyes. He cupped my cheek, and despite everything, I couldn’t help but lean into it, like a flower reaching for sunlight.

“I can’t stay away from you. Not just that, but I don’twantto,” he whispered.

I brushed my lips against his palm, lightly, only barely, but noticed the way his eyes shut.

“All I’ve been able to think about the past couple weeks is you,” he continued, groaning. “It’s a problem.”

“I didn’t tell you what else the Jinn King said. Or ordered,rather,” I began slowly. “He said we can’t be together. He’s the one who ordered those jinn to attack us. He doesn’t want me to be with an angel.”

Zain let out a short, humorless laugh. “Right,I’mthe problem here.”

“Regardless, all this explains why we’re never allowed to be together in the past, right? Because angels and jinn are enemies? And I guess me being jinn royalty—whatever that means—makes it even more important that we aren’t together?” Even though I was piecing these things together, I was hoping Zain would prove me wrong.

Instead, he nodded, which was somehow worse than if he had verbalized his reply. His gaze drifted to the windshield, like his brain was outside this conversation, outside the car suddenly.

His shoulders slumped. “I really need to go. My mentor wants to see me.”