Page 25 of Heavensent & Hellbent

Before we moved, when I was researching fun things to do in Denver, Red Rocks came up. The open-air amphitheater was set among mountainous red rocks and looked like part of a movie set. Boygenius was playing there this summer, and I sent the info to Nic, who replied almost immediately with “DAMN YOU HAVE TO GO!” They were one of our favorite bands. I hadn’t gotten a ticket, though, figuring Dad wouldn’t let me go alone.

“No,” I finally said in answer to his question.

“Do you want to go?” he asked.

“When?”

“Next Saturday?” A week away.

I was only doing a half shift that day. “Yeah, that would be cool.”

“It’s a date,” he said, probably not realizing how long I would turn over those words when trying to fall asleep.

We exchanged phones to input our numbers. He wrote his full name in my contact list: Zain Hashemi. I made a mental note to look him up online later.

“My car is parked right here.” He pointed to a row of cars. “Do you want a ride?”

If my dad saw a guy dropping me off, he’d have a conniption. I shook my head. “That’s okay. I don’t live far.”

“You sure? It’s not a problem.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Honestly, I’d like the walk.”

“All right. Get home safe, Roxana.”

“Bye, Zain.”

10

The porch lights were on, dimly illuminating the house against the dusky sky. As I approached, each step became more difficult, like my body was resisting facing the consequences of my own actions. Eventually, I found myself outside the door and stood there for a moment, listening for noise in the house. I couldn’t hear anything—and then, there it was:laughter. A woman laughing.

I snatched the door open, my feet leading me to the sound. They were in the living room. My dad sitting back on the armchair, a woman on the sofa adjacent. Penny.

They turned their heads to me. Penny’s red lips were raised in a smile, eyes bright. I kept my gaze on her instead of my dad. I was nothing if not a coward.

“Hey,” I said.

“You worried your old dad with your disappearing act,” Penny purred.

My eyes shifted to my dad. I expected the vein in hisforehead to be throbbing, his eyes almost escaping their sockets. But he was…grinning. It was bizarre, but not unheard of. His moods had often been tempered by my mother, but I didn’t think this woman we barely knew could have that effect on him, too. His eyes were pink…and then I noticed the wine bottle on the coffee table between them, along with two nearly empty glasses. Azar and I had suspected our dad sometimes drank after Mum died. Back then, we could smell it on him and noticed the way he stumbled up the stairs in the evening, slamming the door shut. But it was always in secret. He didn’t want us to drink and at least recognized the hypocrisy of doing it in front of us.

Now he was drinking wine in the living room with some woman he clearly had a crush on. And I could say nothing because I was meant to be in trouble.

“Where have you been?” he asked, voice steady.

I rested against the doorframe, dropping my bags to the floor.

“I went to a coffee shop before work and did some reading,” I lied before sprinkling in some truth. “Then I did some shopping,” I added, waving my bag with the Prada backpack, before lying again. “After that, I had an afternoon shift at the bookshop. I’m pretty sure I told you about it?” I hadn’t, but I could pretend.

Even intoxicated, he stared me down. “Which coffee shop did you go to?”

“Beans and Co.,” I said quickly, hopefully adopting the solemn expression of someone who was telling the truth. I hadseen a coffee shop with that name on my walk home and told myself repeatedly that I had been there alone, and not with Zain in the other café, in the hopes that I could sell this story.

I know Dad wanted to say more, but he had company—we were taught toneverembarrass yourself in front of guests. My parents wouldn’t reprimand me or my siblings in front of other adults growing up if we did something wrong, they just held it in until they left. So he wouldn’t press any further now.

“They do an amazing cold brew,” Penny chipped in. She winked at me, which made me pull a face. I quickly fixed it into neutral again. I got the sense she was trying to help me, but I didn’t want a stepmother—or whatever was going on here.

“I’m going to my room,” I said, rolling my shoulders back and forth to relieve the tension that had been building.