Page 31 of People Change

‘Does anyone have any suggestions about what we could be doing better? Remember, this is a safe space,’ Allegra says.

Covertly, eyes are cast towards Shirin and Mariam. They are the only people of colour seated at the table. It is funny how their input is so much less valuable when talking abouta potential acquisition, which is what they are paid to offer input on, rather than about issues of diversity and inclusion in the workplace.

Silence.

Shirin taps her leg with her forefinger.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Her gaze remains on the grey table, at a stray hair there. It is blonde and mid-length, with a slight curl in the middle. It could belong to any one of her colleagues really.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

‘Our author base could be more diverse,’ an editor named Cassie says. ‘We definitely don’t have enough LGBTQ authors.’

‘Or people from working-class backgrounds,’ one Northern marketer adds.

‘And we are doing our best trying to acquire BAME authors, they’re just hard to find. But for representation, we should show different types of people, different col—’ Cassie stumbles on her words, smiles as though she is trying very hard.

Everyone gives her patient, encouraging smiles back. Shirin keeps her gaze on the table.

‘Different races, ethnicities, I mean – BAME people. Or people of colour.’

Shirin brings her eyes up and sees Cassie’s face is pink now. The conversation swiftly moves away from her faux pas and on to another one.

‘We’re meant to be following trends and we’re missing such a big one,’ a publicity director named Jessica says. ‘We need to move quicker with our D&I goals to get ahead of other publishers.’

Trends.

Shirin feels her heart quickening and grips her hands together. The conversation swiftly moves along, and she cannot help but wonder how no one in that room, apart from Mariam, whose jaw is also tight throughout the conversation, sees that calling their lived experiences a trend is desperately insulting.

She looks to Florence, who is watching with an impassive look on her face, and it is infuriating, because shecanbe impassive, whereas Shirin is rendered deeply uncomfortable – like she wants to escape her own body – in her attempts to be detached from the conversation. The conversation about people like her.

‘But,’ Lilian begins, ‘we still need to remember our target audience and retailers, and who is actually buying our books. It’s difficult to get the balance right.’ The more senior members of staff make murmurs of agreement.

It takes Shirin a moment to piece together the implications of such a statement – that it is only white people who read, who deserve to see themselves in books.

‘I would like to say something,’ Mariam says next to Shirin, her voice so clear and sharp that it startles her. ‘If this is a safe space to speak.’

Allegra nods, an unnaturally encouraging smile plastered onto her face.

‘Well, I couldn’t help but notice diversity has been referred to as a trend. I’ve heard other people say this before, too. I think this messaging is a bit of an issue, if I’m allowed to be honest here. We’re talking about people, when we speak about diversity and inclusion. About including everyone and being representative of the society we live in. None of this is a trend that can come and go. We’ve always been here – and will continue to be here.’ Mariam is putting on her closest attempt at a posh accent. She often does this in large meetings. Shirin does too. ‘Also, to say people of colour are not readers is a bit … it feels a bit off to me. I’m obviously a massive reader – and yeah, I’m Palestinian, so it’s not like I can speak for every brown or Black person, but it just seems like too broad a statement, which I think could be damaging.’