Page 119 of Let's Kiss and Tell

I yawn, realizing how tired I am. “Sure.”

We walk to my bedroom and both lie on top of my bed. Chris curls up behind me and starts rubbing my shoulders. I close my eyes and I don’t think about who I’m with or where I am. Chris places a kiss in the crook of my neck, then my shoulder. I knowwhere this is leading. Grabbing his hand, I place it underneath my sweatshirt, right on my breast. He lets out a lowmmmand squeezes. He turns me over and tries to give me a kiss on the lips, but I turn my head.

Chris pulls out a condom from his back pocket and swiftly takes off his clothes. Meanwhile, I only care to barely shimmy down my sweatpants, leaving my sweatshirt on. I don’t even look at him; I avoid eye contact. He attempts to go inside me while I’m on my back, but I turn over onto my stomach, staring at the wall in front of me. He pushes himself inside of me and I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Harder,” I say. He obliges. “Harder,” I say again.

He thrusts and thrusts until I remember what sexshouldfeel like. Simply a physical pleasure. It shouldn’t matter who it’s with or who we are to each other. As long as I’m comfortable, it shouldn’t have to matter.

When Chris finishes, he pulls off the condom, and I don’t even look at him, just go straight to the bathroom. After cleaning myself up, I find him passed out, naked under my covers. I go back into the living room and finish my episode ofThe Shield.

“Morning.” Chris gently rubs my arm. I slowly open my eyes and see I’m still on the couch and he has a cup of coffee in his hand. “Why didn’t you sleep in the bedroom?”

“Oh.” I sit up. I instinctively reach for the cup of coffee and take a sip. My face scrunches as I realize it’s just plain black with no sugar or milk. “I wasn’t tired yet…What time is it?”

“Six-thirtya.m.,”Chris says.

I run a hand through my hair and do some mental math. I have to be at the office in three hours. “Thanks for waking me up.”

“Of course.” He smiles. He’s sitting on my coffee table across from me, juststaring,and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

I wince. “What?”

“Let’s do something tonight,” he says.

“Tonight?” I repeat, confused. It’s unlike Chris to make any plans more than an hour in advance.

“Yeah.” He nods. “I’ll take you for dinner.”

I frown. “Why?”

“I missed you.” He takes both of my hands in his. “I’m glad I came over last night. It’s been weird not talking to you this week.” His thumbs start rubbing the inside of my wrists, and I think this is the most earnest I’ve ever seen him. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…”

“Okay…”

“And I want todo this.”

My brows wrinkle. “Do what?”

“Come to my grandma’s ninetieth birthday party.” He smiles.

I blink. “Why?”

“To take the next step in our relationship,” he says, and a laugh escapes me. He can’t be serious right now. “What’s so funny?”

“I-I’m sorry,” I stammer. “You’renotkidding?”

“Why would I joke about that?” he asks.

I pull my hands out from his and look around my apartment for an answer. My throat feels tight and my stomach queasy. “Becausewhywould I meet your family?”

“Because that’s the right thing to do,” Chris says slowly. “When you’re with someone. You have them meet important people in your life, you go on trips, you move in together.”

“I know you.” I adjust in my seat. “Youdon’t want those things.”

“I didn’t. I do now, though.” He takes my hands in his again. “So, my brother got engaged a few days ago—”

“You have a brother?” I say. This is the first I’m hearing of it.