Page 125 of I Hope This Finds You Well

Maybe what I said will make no difference, but maybe when Miley comes home, her mom will greet her. If they see each other just a bit today, then it has to be worth it.

As I’m moving the last of the boxes into my mom’s car, I finally spot Miley on the stoop. I’d been avoiding her and mostly leaving the house when she’s in school. Terrible.

She doesn’t look up, even when I’m close enough to cast a shadow over her. I deserve that. But I hold out the little package for her anyway and say, “Happy birthday.”

“What’s this?” Her voice is distant and closed.

“A present slash apology slash goodbye.”

She eyes it suspiciously before tearing into the paper. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

“I... just haven’t been the greatest friend lately.”

She stops unwrapping and her face juts upward. “Jolene, I thought we weren’t friends?”

“Well, we could be.”

“Aren’t adults who are friends with kids kind of weird?”

I shrug as she pulls the last of the wrapping paper away from the T-shirt. It’s from the movie we saw.

“But thanks. I love it.”

“I’m really glad we did that,” I say.

“Calm down, Jolene. I just used you to get me in.” But her cheeks are flushed all the same.

I crouch closer. “And I never apologized for storming off that day, for avoiding you after. I’m sorry about that.”

“Thanks.” Her face scrunches. “But what’s the goodbye about?”

“I’m going to have to move away today. I won’t be around anymore.”

A surprisingly impossible thing to say. Miley’s face droops instantly. “Where are you moving?”

“I have to stay with my parents for a bit.” An easier thing to say. Moving home doesn’t seem so scary. It simply feels like going home. But Miley’s face stays low. “But, I mean, we can keep in touch.”

She flips the T-shirt in her lap. “Yeah, yeah. People always say that kind of thing.”

I crouch lower, so I’m eye level with her. “Well, I mean it. I’ll give you my number. I have to go do some things now. But I’ll see you around before I leave? Sorry your present was weeks late.”

Miley swipes her hair back and I notice it’s less knotted than usual. I think she even got a trim. “It’s okay.” She shrugs. “My birthday celebration with my mom is tonight too.”

My chest lifts like a helium balloon. “Fun!”

Her eyes round out as she looks at me. “You were always my easiest mark when I was looking for someone to talk to. And when you didn’t want to talk, you were at least funny to watch.” She stares at her worn Toms insecurely.

“Miley...” There’s so much I want to say, so much I need her to remember about herself before she starts to doubt. “I know things can be hard at your age. But I’m proud of you for coming out here every day and trying to connect with the world. You honestly are so cool to me.”

She shakes her head. “Um, yeah, the adults that are friends with kids are freaks.”

I let out a chuckle. “I guess that’s true.”

I shift the box in my arms and start to walk to the car again, when she calls out, “Jolene, wait.” Miley turns to run into our building. “I forgot! I have something for you.”

I put the box down on the cracked pathway and wait as I stare at the various types of weeds that poke through. Finally, she comes trotting back with a plain brown letter-sized envelope. “Your boyfriend gaveme this a few weeks ago. He said he forgot to give it to you, but you’d already said goodbye.”

I stiffen instinctively. Cliff’s already gone. Every time I’ve exited the apartment, I’ve been doing a double take at cars that look like his, at people walking dogs. Checking behind me at the grocery store.