Page 115 of I Hope This Finds You Well

Everything inside me starts sinking. Caitlin dabs the corners of her eyes. My thoughts speed past me, rapid and broken. I speak to Caitlin before thinking: “So you’re not leaving him?”

She curls farther into herself, like a turtle into a shell. I can’t catch up to all the stillness and silence in the room.

Her shoulders shake with a silent sob. I may not have spoken to her much over three years, but I’ve watched her almost every day. The fear in her eyes is real, but when her gaze flashes toward me, it’s the remorse that drills into my core.

Cliff adjusts the papers in front of him. “Jolene, after a conversation last night between you and Miss Joffrey regarding her fiancé, Kyle, Caitlin had reason to believe you were interfering in her—”

“I knew my draft email was messed with! You sabotaged me! We know what you’re really like.” Caitlin’s voice is stilted and pitchy. “I had to tell Gregory everything.”

My skin goes taut. I flash back to the night Cliff busted me at Caitlin’s computer. Me typingJolene Suckscould’ve been my demise.

“Miss Joffrey! That’s enough.” Cliff still can’t look at me. His knuckles are firm fists, his lips a thin line.

This was always going to happen. I knew this was going to happen with him one day.

He continues: “Due to the concern, Gregory had authority to check your desk.”

“It’s company property,” Gregory just has to say. The joy in his heart is an ugly thing.

Of course Gregory was all too happy foranyexcuse to riffle through my things—extorting the guy probably didn’t help my situation. I picture Gregory pawing at my desk, going through my papers... My stomach turns to acid. Cliff gestures toward Gregory. “Unfortunately, there was concerning material inside.”

Gregory puffs out his chest, just thrilled with his existence.

Cliff adjusts the papers under his hands. My heart tumbles and tumbles into the ground. “You can’t do that! That’s my private stuff! That’smy life!” But as the words tumble from my mouth, I know I’m not the one to speak.

Cliff nods frustratingly, but still, he won’t look past his hands. He pushes a folder toward me. I keep my hands tucked into myself. “Several printed documents that are undeniable were recovered from your desk.”

He props open the folder. A piece of paper has been clipped to the top with a list:

Caitlin’s passwords

Phone number for Rhonda’s son(?)

Armin’s schedule vs. PTO days

Office consolidation materials

Emails from other units

The tightness in Cliff’s expression is like a betrayal.

“That’s not what it looks like.” I stare at him in a silent plea. “I was trying to help.”

“Were you?” Cliff’s jaw ticks in unison with the drop of my stomach. He breaks our stare first. “The primary concern is that there are documents printed that weren’t sent to you containing sensitive management materials.” His voice is growing increasingly airy and distant. His eyes flash to the paper he’s holding out. “And a plan detailing your deceptions.”

My list I’d written just a few weeks ago:

—Do everything better and faster than Caitlin

—Win over Gregory via his tolerable proxy, Rhonda

—Convince Armin I’m normal/give him no reason to talk to HR about me

—Get Cliff to like me

His fingers halt on the last line.

My simple plans bang around and crush in on me. Cliff’s expression is not one of anger but of indifference.