Page 112 of I Hope This Finds You Well

I nod so, so casually. “This sounds intense. Should I be scared?”

His jaw hardens. “Very.”

I turn toward him, raising an eyebrow.

“Tomorrow I’m going to submit my final report on your training.” A grin draws across his face. “I’m very sorry to tell you this, but despite your best efforts, it looks like you’ll be staying at Supershops awhile longer.”

Of course, I already knew this. And I wish I could be excited. But his words just remind me of all the people who, despite their best efforts, won’t be staying.

His grin wavers. Shit. I should look happy. “That’s great!”

“You must know you deserve it,” he says. “You’ve done amazing work the past few weeks.”

“But what about the layoffs?” I ask. He tilts his head, a hint of curiosity in his stare, and I remember I’m not supposed to actually know about that. “Everyone’s heard the rumors.”

He sighs. “Between us, I have to begin the process of letting people go early next week.”

“What about Rhonda and Armin and Caitlin? Are they staying?”

His chin falls toward his chest. “You know I can’t discuss individual cases.”

His brow wrinkles. He looks completely wrecked. Because firing people isn’t Cliff. He made individual meetings with everyone in the company. His desk is covered with ideas about how to help employees thrive. He tried so hard to help Larry, right up until the end. He’s done everything to help me.

And I’ve been selfish, wanting him to stay.

The words burst free. “Cliff, I think you should quit.”

Cliff’s mouth falls open. “What?”

“Letting people go next week? That’s miserable. You’re going to hate that.”

“I... I can do it.”

“So what? Icaneat a Subway sandwich, technically, but I’m never going through that misery again.”

Cliff’s lips press together into a thin line. His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. “This is part of my job.”

“Seriously, Cliff. Remember how torn up you were about Larry? You told me about your coping mechanisms. How many people will die in your eyes next week? You know this isn’t the place for you.”

If I can just be honest from now on... if I can help Cliff.

His head shake is slow, uncertain. “Larry was a tough case. The rest won’t be that bad.”

“‘That bad.’ That’s not how someone should feel about the job they do every single day.” But more uncertainty rattles through me. “Let’s be real. Youhatethis job. Your grandma is doing better now. You were speaking to that guy, Sanjay, about going back to work for him. So what’s honestly keeping you at Supershops Incorporated?”

Instantly, our eyes meet—and in that single flash, I realize exactly what he doesn’t want to say.

I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean to like him so much.

“I don’t need you to stay here to look out for me,” I beg. “I don’t need to be saved. You’re not your fucking Warhammer thing.”

“Okay, I think you’ve missed the mark on what happens in War—”

“You need to help yourself,” I plead. I hate that it’s my words that are making his face drop like this, but I need him tosee. “Cliff, you’re giving up on an amazing opportunity in Vancouver, and for what? To work at Supershops, defending us assholes, even though the place is a nightmare?”

His expression tugs down, startled by my intensity. “That’s not it! That was never it.” He inhales, looking down at the steering wheel. The car’s overhead light bounces over his skin, highlighting the shadows under his eyes. “I need to be honest here. At first, yeah, I was trying to help you out. I liked you; I didn’t want to see you get fired. But itbecame clear pretty fast that me being here was what could’ve screwed you. That’s why I was looking into going back to Vancouver.”

I try to process his words, but they don’t add up. “Then what’s still holding you to this job?”