Page 103 of My Best French Wedding

“About then? Or now?”

“Both,” she decided, after a moment’s reflection. “What if we suck at this?”

“Talking to each other?”

“Figuring out the truth—which is pretty much the main job of journalists.” Hildy shuddered at the prospect of her entire career being rooted in delusion. “No, I’m not going to neg myself. I know I’m awesome. And you’re… not bad. At your job.”

He sketched a mocking half bow. “So where does that leave us?”

Hildy felt like they’d just stepped out of a darkened movie theater and were standing on the sidewalk adjusting to daylight. “Right now?”

“Tonight, yes. And tomorrow. And after.”

The words were neutral enough on the surface. And yet Hildy felt the temperature in the room tick up a few degrees, a slow simmer of possibility in the air.

“As in, are we still dagger-to-the-throat, or will we magically get over it like we’ve been lobotomized?”

Because it wasn’t as if he’d prefaced all of this with an impassioned speech.Oh, Hildy! How I yearn for you! The reason I’m dredging up this unpleasantness is that I’ve carried a torch all these years! Let’s kiss and make up!

He was probably doing some kind of therapeutic exercise where he had to make peace with his past so he could move forward to a normal relationship untainted by a tragic legacy of mistakes and misunderstandings. And who could blame him?

“The thing is, Walter, we tried to clear the air—”

“A little,” he countered.

She let that slide for now. “I can’t flip a switch andabracadabraforget all the things we said and did to each other.”

It was as if her emotions had been taken out of their boxes and thrown around, making it impossible to tell which feeling went where. They were still there, vast and oceanic, but all Hildy could do was let them surge around her and hope she didn’t drown.

No one had ever made herfeelthe way Walter did.

“There must be part of you that’s still angry,” she insisted. Hildy saw the instinctive denial form on his lips before he caught himself.

“I don’t know. Honestly? I think all these years I’ve been trying to get your attention. Making my big stand, writing about you, competing with you—there’s a pretty clear through line.Notice me, Hildy. I’m right here.”

“Like Ben Seward.”

Walter shook his head. “Is he a tabloid guy?”

“No, he was a kid who used to chase me around the playground in second grade and pull my curls. ‘Hildy, what’s wrong with your hair?’Yank! All the adults were like, ‘Isn’t that cute? He has a crush on you! Be nice to him.’ Which is what every little girl longs to hear: Better start placating the incels early!”

“And I remind you of him?”

“No. I never liked Ben Seward. He ate his boogers.”

“A low bar, but I like to think I clear it.”

Hildy refused to puff up his ego by agreeing. Besides, they were losing the plot. Again.

“I don’t think it matterswhywe acted the way we did. It doesn’t change the fact that we did real damage to each other. Compared to what, aweekthat was…”

“Perfect,” he supplied, when she faltered. The look in his eyes dared her to deny it. Rather than perjure herself, she stayed stubbornly silent—which had the unfortunate effect of allowing Walter to go on.

“My whole life I had this constant list in my head. If only I was taller, or smarter, or faster, or my hair didn’t stick up, or my knees weren’t bony… but all that went quiet when I was with you. For the first time, I was glad to be exactly who and where I was.” Walter paused, and Hildy knew he was waiting for her to say something:yes, I understand, orit was the same for me. But she couldn’t, because she suspected it wasn’t quite true. Walter hadn’tmade her feelgood enough. She’d been unstoppable. Superpowered. It was as if he saw the person she’d planned to become once she got her shit together and stopped breaking out.

“That must mean something,” he prodded when she didn’t respond. He tried to hold eye contact, but Hildy looked away after a few scorching seconds. “Being with you was so easy, Hildy.”

“Until it wasn’t,” she reminded him, ignoring the traitorous thump of her heart. “And it stayed that way for a long, long time. So who’s to say which one was real?”