Page 74 of Fake It Till You Make It
“Withers. Come hithers. I don’t speak animal kingdom, but that’s amazing, Mari.”
“Oh, sorry. That’s the highest part of the spine. You know, like a cat’s hackles.”
“Ah, no. I don’t. But the fact is, you are leveling up, sister. You speak English, Country Grammar, and Zoolander.”
Yeah, she had learned a lot about animal anatomy and veterinary medicine during her time in Service. Instead of stressing about her checklists, she just embraced her process. She realized that different didn’t translate to dumb. Eli’s patience and easy acceptance of her rather quirky methodology empowered rather than demeaned her.
“Kind of. The company sent a contract and a check offering #SexyKittyVet a paid brand ambassador opportunity.”
“But?” Vali prompted, excitement lighting her voice.
“They want Eli to live stream on both pages, ours and theirs. He’s stubborn as a blind mule, though. Just flat out refused. I mean, the man is a natural-born influencer. He’s focused, a research nerd, and his smile could power Times Square at Christmas. And the kittens, they’re old enough to be adopted, but he’s so good with them. Instead of grabbing a backpack in the mornings, he scoops them up in their basket and heads to the office. It’s the cutest thing, Vali. But,” she sighed, “two folks, one from Landing Falls, the other from Whynot, plan to stop by the clinic this afternoon to welcome a new furry, purry addition to the family. I’m going to miss them so much.”
“You could change his mind,” Vali teased. “We both know how creative you are. I mean, he is #SexyKittyVet. Those kittens are technically his coworkers.”
“I know, right. I think he should keep #SexyKittyVet alive even after the auction ends, but Eli envisions a different life for himself. And, well, the kittens won’t be babies forever. Can you imagine, Eli and five cats in a basket?”
“Why not? Didn’t some guy keep a cat in a hat? I think it’s sexy and sweet that big daddy takes the kiddos to work and leaves the little lady at home to recover,” Vali mused.
Amarie sighed, first at the loss of the kittens and then at probably losing the brand ambassador contract. The added money could pay for the clinic expansion, but she wouldn’t manipulate Eli into a situation in which he felt uncomfortable. Amarie knew the pain of trying to be anything other than who she was. There would be more opportunities… she hoped. She felt a pang in her heart at releasing any of her kitties, but Eli had assured her that he would see to it that each of her fur babies landed in luxury.
“Vali,” she breathed out. “I’m happy. Really, deeply, and truly happy with my choices. I have fun doing what I love with a great guy. I’m scared the other shoe will drop—”
“Girl, would you stop? Enjoy yourself. Can you do that?”
Amarie fell back on the pallet of sleeping bags and blankets in a fit of giggles. She could count on Vali to lighten any perceived calamity.
“Yes, I can. What can I say—I drop it like it’s hot. And Eli, he’s a fire god.”
“Are you saying Eli is ‘O’ positive, as in orgasm?”
“He was double ‘O’ positive from the first night. And,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper, “last night we hit a triple ‘O’ with a howl.”
Vali screamed like a teenage girl at a sleepover. “I love a man who understands the assignment. Sounds like Eli knows how to keep the doors to the candy shop open.”
“Have I told you how basic you are some days?”
“As if your opinion will change my predilection for carnality.”
“You are absolutely wicked.”
“And proud of it. But truly, us single ladies have to behappy when another melanin poppin’, educated woman finds a man worthy of her time and talent. Yet ironically, I find myself green candy apple jealous. I’mhealous, because ain’t no sex been happening in my city, if you catch my meaning. You deserve every good vibration that comes your way.”
Amarie smirked, even though her friend couldn’t see her expression. “Really, Vali?Vibrations that come my way.”
She snickered. “Caught that, did you?”
“Congratulations, Miss Walker.” Amarie bolted upright at the new voice coming through the receiver. Vali’s sister, Sunday, had overheard the conversation.
“Sunday,” Amarie screeched. “Go to your room. Now.”
“No can do, my sister from another mister,” she singsonged. “I’m taking notes. Love your #SexyKittyVet videos so hard, too. Please, ask SimplyTobias if he likes his Sunday with a shaved cherry?”
“Wh-what,” Amarie sputtered, coffee dribbled off her chin. “Sunday, you are a mess. Vali, will you tell your X-rated sister to warn me before she puts shaved cherries and sexual metaphors in the same sentence? Real talk, I could have choked on this coffee. I’m blaming you for any and all future complications.”
Vali came back on the line, laughing. Amarie missed their Saturday mornings on that horrid crescent-shaped couch.
“You ran her off, so there, problem solved. And since you’ve only mentionedz luv doctor, I’m assuming you haven’t had a chance to visit your online portal about your exam results, hmm?”
