Page 160 of Devil Inside

A god box who doesn’t know any better,she called me.

I’m outside by the bonfire in the backyard, watching the flames lick the sky. I’ll make my way inside eventually.Where’s Lilith?We could be sharing this. Watching the world burn together.

Imagine escaping the depths of hell. Imagine slipping into the skin of a human being for a night. To feel what humans feel. And of all the people you spend that night with...

What did Lilith see in me? Is there really a darkness inside me? Can we kindle it, nurture it, until it becomes a fire? Anything is possible. So why won’t she call me back?

Where did she go?

“Heads up!” Deak forces his way between us and tosses another body onto the pyre. The second its bundled head hits the blaze, a shower of sparks burst into the air.

I flinch. We’re standing way too close to the fire. Me and Freel both dodge the explosion of embers. “Watch where you’re throwing those,” Freel mutters. “Asshole.”

“Sorry,” Deak says, basking in his handiwork.

Wicker Men has been the Saddle Sores’ annual get-together. Folk horror for MFA students. Lys insists our club’s parties are for fundraising. She picks a charity and charges at the door. Once you pay and enter through this threshold, you are stepping into a world of booze and music. Her doors are open for everybody.Give me your poor, your tired, your possessed masses...We get a bonfire going out back, chopping up whatever spare furniture we find around town and tossing it in. Light it up. Let our inner pyro-freak flag fly. Lys spends a week twining together human-sized effigies made of straw and wood. By the time the big night rolls around, she’s got over a dozen different wicker men—and women—ready to go. Scarecrow totems are all tossed into the fire, one after another, in hopes of heralding a happy harvest.

Wicker Men is simply our own Southern rendition of Guy Fawkes Night, only with more PBR. Just another excuse to lose yourself. Any inhibition gets thrown out the window. Dance into oblivion. The sound system inside the house is absolutely rattling the glass of every window along the block. I can feel the bass oozing out from the party, exuding music.

Tonight will be the last. Going out in a blaze of glory.

“I’m getting a refill,” Freel says. “Anybody need another round?”

“All good,” Deak says, holding up his beer.

Freel slips back into the shadows, turning away from the fire. “Let me know if you change your mind,” he says over his shoulder, already gone.

The night’s still young. A virgin sacrifice just waiting for the knife. The house will be busting at the beams before long, everybody cramming in.

I’m focused on everyone’s face. Nobody looks familiar to me. Not anymore. I swear I’m seeing people differently now. I don’t know who these people are. What’s inside them.

What’s looking back?

The only eyes I trust anymore are Lilith’s. That look of desire. No matter whose eyes she’s inhabiting, possessing, I swear I see her looking back at me. I know when it’s her.

I want to see her again. Those infernal eyes. That piercing stare.

Where is she? Is she here?

“Did Lys tell you tonight’s funds are going toward our wedding?” Deak asks. “She’s got this itch to visit Greece for our honeymoon... You believe that? Never been.”

“You’ve never been anywhere,” I say. “You never left Richmond.”

“True.” I figure he’s going to leave it at that, the silence settling in for a spell, before he says, “I don’t know if I can go through with it anymore.”

I turn to Deak. “Getting cold feet?”

“Cold everything.”

“How come?”

“Lys has all these plans. She wants to do things. Make something of herself. Be somebody, you know?” Deak shakes his head, just slightly. “What if I’m holding her back?”

“Why don’t you let her decide that?”

“I love her,” he says. “I fucking love her so much... but what if I’m not good enough?”

“Nobody is.” I focus on the fire. Feel the heat of my cheeks. I’m standing way too close, the heat pressing against me, and I’m lost, lost in the very heart of it.