Page 85 of Counting the Days

Seconds later, Zoe:Unsubscribe

Ada:Boooooooo!

Tiny:We’re being earnest here Zo! Prove that you have a human heart!

Zoe:Never!

Zoe:Kidding! Rhea, my love! Thank you for your text. I think this is what my therapist calls the art of repair. I am sorry too. Now that I know how you’re feeling I will try to be more sensitive. My therapist thinks I am incapable of sensitivity but I’d love to prove that bitch wrong. I think of you as a member of my family whether you like it or not.

Rhea wept into her fruit salad as she read. Each message was a salve to her wounds, but Zoe calling her a member of her family had the deepest effect. How much of her alienation was solely coming from within? She thought of herself as a dead limb, but maybe they really did think of her as a highly useful appendage, an actual member of their family. What if sending all the baby photos on the text chain wasn’t a thirst for validation, but a way to include Rhea in their domestic lives?

She replayed all the moments she had spent with their kids. Perhaps her lack of children made her even more valuable; she had spare energy and time and a massive reservoir of love to pour all over them. Instead of being looked down on, she decided, wacky aunts should hold a cherished place in society. They should be celebrated on Wacky Aunt Day. They should get tax breaks since they don’t have kids in public school and aren’t allowed in public playgrounds.

Rhea responded with hearts, balloons, and smiley faces, and this time she meant it.

79Days

Louisca walked into Topanga GeneralStore, and Rhea handed him a coffee from the café next door, his usual order: two creams and eight sugars. She told him she’d greatly missed hearing about his love life. She decided they should forgo designing the winter window display so he could catch her up on the past few months.

And he did not disappoint.

It turned out the guy he was dating had severe mental health issues, and when Louisca broke up with him, he became a full-on stalker. He would park in front of Louisca’s apartment building and stare up at his balcony with binoculars. He would sneak into the building and wait for Louisca in the hall. He even stopped by Topanga General a few times but only entered the shop when he knew Louisca was alone. Louisca relived all this as if it were a wildly romantic and exciting adventure.

“I can, like, honestly say this guy wascrazyabout me.”

Rhea felt guilty for having missed all this. She thought of all the weeks they had worked side by side, her energy so heavy and closed off, forcing Louisca to keep the entire story to himself,even when it reached its dramatic peak: The man would not let up, and a week ago, Louisca got a restraining order.

“Can you imagine?Me?Having to legally restrain somebody? That judge looked him in the eye and said, ‘You have to leave Louis Carlo alone.’ And he goes, ‘But I love him. I love him so much,I want to strangle him.’ I swear to God. I was scared for my life, Rhea.” Louisca said this with upturned lips and a twinkle in his eye.

Rhea wondered if the stalker simply suffered from too strong a case of cute aggression; she was disturbed by how much she related to him. Louisca asked if she wanted to see a copy of the restraining order. He pulled it out of his backpack and proudly held it up like a degree from a prestigious university.

Rhea felt a pang of longing to be young again. Louisca was twenty-five, and dating disasters were still exciting. She wondered if he would be able to maintain this upbeat persona in his late thirties, if he still had not found the one.

“Anyway, that was my October. How are you feeling about all the Danny stuff?”

Rhea filled him in on the details of their breakup. She had thus far not been able to talk about it in depth.

He listened, sipped his coffee, and said, “It’s not over. He’ll be back.”

“No, it’s definitely over,” she said with a sigh.

“Nope, sorry, I personally dressed you for most of those dates. It’s not over…. Trust me.”

—

She locked up the storeand walked toward her car but pivoted and entered the nearby gourmet market. She bought a vegan cookbook and picked out a recipe for a garbanzo bean casserole. She purchased all the ingredients along with acolander and a few other cooking necessities. Danny had shown her she did not need a chef’s kitchen to be a chef.

With arms full of groceries, she noticed a small flyer outside the market: the Topanga Coalition for Humans Experiencing Homelessness. She took a picture of it with her phone. She could no longer ignore her yearning to give back. Danny’s passion for planet Earth had left a lasting impact, but she had more of a desire to help the struggling humans than the struggling environment.

For years, she had put her life on hold, waiting for the “married with children” part of her vision board to materialize before tackling anything else…but she was done waiting. When she got home, she emailed the coalition, telling them she was a Topanga local and wanted to get involved in some way. She was chopping parsley when she received their reply:

Rhea! We can always use more volunteers! We gather once a month in our office behind the fish market. Please feel free to stop by this Saturday at 6p.m. We could really use canned food, toiletries, clean clothes, shoes, and blankets. Going door-to-door and asking for these items has been fruitful. People usually have so much extra stuff, they just don’t know where to bring it. If you could drop off whatever you get on Saturday, that would be awesome!

A lump formed in Rhea’s throat. Going door-to-door and meeting strangers was a bit beyond her comfort zone. She thought of Danny and how he had all his neighbors’ phone numbers; she figured the least she could do was learn her neighbors’ names and take their blankets.

She pulled the casserole out of the oven and served herself a plate. She sat outside on her decrepit outdoor furniture. She ordered new outdoor furniture while she enjoyed her meal, and Steve glared at her through the slats in her fence.

“Steve, I made this casserole all by myself. And I’m getting new furniture out here, so you have to be nice to it.”