Page 52 of Venomous Desires

It wasn’t like I was ungrateful to him.

I was indebted. I truly was. But that didn’t change the fact that people could be terrifying when faced with their demons.

Darkness would always reveal their true nature.

Ivan may not be as psychotic or terrifying as Judas and that stranger, but he was wearing a mask. I noticed it when Alina pointed it out. His smiles no longer felt assuring to me, and neither did his gestures. It felt like there was a reason behind everything he did. Calculative and precise.

Even now, as I turned around to face him, his eyes flickered between the green I used to adore and the emerald-darker and mysterious — settling back before returning to their original colour. My eyes didn’t miss how he carefully unclenched his hands, ran them through his chestnut hair, messing it up, and his lips curled in a smile that should be comforting.

“I’ll take you to the dorms.” Same nonchalant voice. Mastered tone. Words that should make me feel at ease.

And I absently nodded, watching, reading as he smiled again and turned towards the steering wheel, his hands wrapped around the wheel and the other on the gear. His body seemedtaut, but the smile didn’t falter, as if he didn’t want me to see beyond that.

Ever since I encountered Judas, I had come to realise people were like two sides of the same coin. People were unpredictable.

There was always the side they showed the world—polished, appealing, designed to fit in with societal expectations. Superficially appealing, charismatic, and manipulative with their words- the face Judas Romanovski wore in public, the persona everyone respected- feared.

But then there was the other side—the side he kept hidden, the side I had seen a glimpse of, the raw, unfiltered truth of who he really was. Cruel. Heartless. Maniac.

The duality terrified me.

I had seen it in my parents, who smiled and spoke gently to me while hiding the cracks in their marriage.

I had seen it in friends who laughed and joked with me and talked behind me.

I had seen it in myself, the way I projected a happy exterior even when I felt anything but.

I had seen it in Ivan.

This realization had made me more cautious, more guarded.

I shouldn’t take people at face value.

I shifted in my seat, the leather squeaking softly beneath me. The silence between us was heavy, a tangible force that pressed against my chest. I wanted to ask him so many things, to break through that barrier and see the real person beneath.

But I bit my tongue, knowing that some doors, once opened, could never be closed again.

The car came to a stop, and I prepared to step out; I knew I had to keep my guard up. The man beside me might appear friendly and relaxed.

I reached for the door handle as my eyes almost burned with the tears I had been trying hard to keep at bay.

Ivan didn’t say anything, and neither did I. As I stepped out, I cast one last look at him to find him already looking at me with a stretched smile. I couldn’t afford to forget that there was always another side to every coin.

I stumbled like a numb person.

I didn’t know how I managed into the room.

There was definitely crying and some blurry visions as I strangled the door open. But the persistent feeling was the constant fear.

I shook my head.

Thinking about the stranger was the worst step I could take.

To my relief, when I entered the dark room, Alina was not there. Only made me think she must be out since it was Friday night. I didn’t know how I would’ve explained my dishevelled state, messy hair, teary eyes, and red face to her. Even if I managed to, what would I have done myself to stop throwing myself at her? At this point, I needed human contact, someone to run their hand down my back, soothing me.

Another wishful thinking.

I sank onto the edge of my bed, the silence of the room pressing in around me like a suffocating shroud. My thoughts swirled in a dark, chaotic mess. I felt the sting of everything that had happened.