Page 3 of Venomous Desires

But I neither had the timenor themoney to be that girl.

“Can’t. I have assignments.”

I envied girls who made living look easy. I wasn’t different from other girls. I was justoneof the many who spent their lives surviving instead.

“You’re so boring, but I like you.” I managed a small smile and resumed packing my bag.

Alina hummed some song as she styled her hair. And the void in my chest deepened.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want those things—the laughter, the freedom, the feeling of belonging. I wanted them as much as anyone else.

Life just kept reminding me they weren’t meant for me.

Ever since my father died and our world fell apart, surviving had become more important than living. Bills replaced birthdays. Responsibility replaced dreams. My friends slowly drifted away, and somewhere along the way, I stopped expecting life to be kind.

With a sigh, I pulled on my jacket over my sweater and jeans and slung my bag over my shoulder, forcing my thoughts away from home.

I’d promised Mama I’d make everything better.

I just never realized that sometimes the people trying hardest to save everyone else are the ones quietly falling apart.

?

By the time I limped toward my class, I was tired and already wanted to gohome. A bittersweet ache settled in my chest. There’d be no home for the next two years.

I sank into the last empty seat I’d been occupying since last week. The professor was already twenty minutes late, enough time to map out my evening plan: a job hunt through Moscow’s streets.

Laughter echoed around me.

To my left, a redhead animatedly recounted her latest date while her friends melted into laughter. To my right, a group of boys argued over last night’s football match like their lives depended on it.

Everyone had someone.

I had my books.

I tightened my grip on them and slipped in my earphones, letting a podcast drown out the reminder that I didn’t belong.

“How would you rate your life on a scale of ten, Ms. Polani?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Coffee. The weather. Whether someone spoiled the ending of my favorite book.”

“And today’s score?”

“A generous three.”

Laughter rippled through the audience, and I found myself smiling faintly, lost in the conversation. I was still in my bubble, oblivious, until a tap on my shoulder yanked me out of it. My body jolted on instinct, and a hand caught mine mid-air.

My earbuds slipped free, and hesitantly, I looked around. To my dismay, every single pair of eyes was on me.

Ms. Olga’s sharp gaze pinned me in place.

“Done with your daydreaming, Ms.Rosewood?”

I snapped back to reality so fast my cheeks burn. “I... I am so…”