Page 97 of Family Bonds- Gabriela & Luca

There it was. The truth he rarely let surface, let alone voiced out loud.

But in the past, there was no one he could say it to.

His parents? Who would jump right on with him and talk badly about Zoe for not letting him be part of their decisions?

Zoe’s parents who would defend their daughter?

He had to eat that pain alone and had for years.

That maybe he was still pissed that Zoe wouldn’t budge.

That she wouldn’t just open her mind to other possibilities to make them a family.

“That doesn’t make you a bad person,” she said.

“It feels like it should,” he said. “I know better. I tell myself parenthood isn’t morality. That readiness isn’t something you earn by wanting it badly enough. Or that is what I told myself for years when we were trying and it wasn’t working. But some nights—” His voice caught. “Some nights, it just hurts.”

Even when he thought he was done with this. That he’d put it behind him.

“I think,” she said after a second, “that you’re still grieving. Not death. Just something else that maybe it’s hard for you to understand because grief isn’t logical. It doesn’t care how fair you are or how kind. Or what you want more than the next person. Even how much better you can handle a situation.”

The underlying words were there.

It was meant for the fact that Zoe made their decisions when it came to having a family and he let it go.

That maybe he was more disappointed in himself for not fighting harder for what he wanted.

For letting his voice be heard also.

He swallowed. “I look at Taylor and all I see are risks. Statistics. Fear. And then I picture the life I would have given a child, and it makes me angry. At no one. At everyone. Like you said, not really logical. I’m having a moment is all.”

“That anger is love with nowhere to go,” she said. Her voice was tender. Caring. Like she was right there with him looking into his eyes. He felt that and needed it more than he could express. “But it doesn’t mean it will always be that way. Cut yourself some slack, Luca. You’ve been through a lot and just because you’re doing good now, doesn’t mean triggers don’t exist. You know that.”

He closed his eyes.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “You make it sound so simple.”

“It’s not,” she said. “But it’s human.”

The silence settled between them was steady, but not heavy. It wasn’t humor, more serious, like she knew exactly how to dial it in.

“Thank you for letting me say it out loud,” he said. “Most people would try to fix it. Of course I wouldn’t have told most people.”

“I’m not here to fix you,” she said softly. “That’s not what a couple does. Tonight, I’m here to listen. If we were in person, maybe I’d let you steal my fries without slapping your hand, but I’d still be listening.”

He laughed.

She was joking but not really trying to change the subject, just injected a tiny tidbit.

Not trying to redirect it from the seriousness or to make him feel his thoughts had no validation.

It was more about what they had together.

What they brought out of each other.

That maybe she knew he might have reached his limit and it was time for a small laugh.

“Is it too much to say I wish you were here and not there?”