Page 115 of Family Bonds- Gabriela & Luca

It was snowing out, the fireplace was lit and she had plans of staying in all day while the storm passed over.

It’d be a perfect day to snuggle together and just be about them.

Not that she’d thought they would be talking aboutthis.

“I’m not sure if you’re joking because you don’t want to talk about this and if that is the case, just tell me. I’ll understand.”

“I’m joking because it’s in my nature.” She was going to have to be honest. Serious. But still cautious. “On one hand, I’m kind of excited about it, but know it’s a long shot. I don’t want to get excited or project that onto you knowing those factors.”

He blew out a breath. “Okay. That helps some. I’m feeling the same way. I’ve got a tiny glimmer of hope but not much more because I know it’s a long shot like you said. On so many levels. Even trying to make it work.”

“First off, if it comes to that… If it works out,we’llmake it work. It won’t be as hard as you think.”

“We?” he asked.

“Do you think I’m not going to be part of your life if you adopted a child? Luca,” she said softly. “I want a child too. You know that.”

“But you might want your own.”

“You’re going to tick me off. Yep, I want my own when the time is right, but I don’t know if I can. Not until I try. You of all people are aware of that. And I’m getting up there in age too. I’ve got enough room in my heart for more than one child, even if it’s not mine.”

He ran his hand over her head, placed a kiss on it, then sighed. “I know you do.”

“There is no guarantee with you and me. I’m not saying that so that you think I’m cutting. I’m not. Please don’t think that.”

“It’s a little hard to when you say that,” he said drily.

And it was the last thing she wanted. Him to think this decision was going to make her walk away.

The only way to make it right now was to tell him how she really felt about him.

How he made her heart race in his presence and in anticipation when she’d see him again.

She lifted her head from his chest, just enough to look at him. Really look at him. The man who had walked into her life quietly, carefully, and somehow taken up so much space.

“Hey,” she said softly. “Listen to me.” His jaw tightened. He was bracing. For distance. For her to pull back. For something or anything he’d been fearing since the thought of adoption crossed his mind. She could see it and she hated it. “I’m not talking about guarantees because I’m halfway out the door,” she continued. “I’m talking about them because I’m scared of how much I care. And I don’t want you making a life-altering decision thinking I’ll disappear if it gets hard.”

His eyes searched hers. “You won’t?”

“No.” The word came out firm, surprising even her. She took a breath. “You make my heart race just sitting here. I think about you when you’re not around. I look forward to seeing you in a way I haven’t let myself do in years.” She swallowed, her voice lowering. “I don’t say big words easily. You know that. I hidebehind jokes, sarcasm, pretending I’m fine either way. But the truth is, I’m already in deeper than I planned. I think you might be too and are just afraid of voicing it also.”

His hand slid up her arm, warm and grounding. “Gabriela...”

“I’m not asking you to decide anything because of me,” she rushed on. “About the baby. About us. I just need you to know that whatever happens, I’m not casual about you. I never have been. I’m not passing time. I’m here because I want to be.”

The thick and fragile silence stretched between them, with her trying to read what was in his eyes.

Had she just opened the door too much and now he was the one that needed to slam it shut?

Had she made this decision easier or harder for him now?

None of that was what she wanted.

Then he cupped her face, his thumb brushing beneath her eye like he was memorizing her. “You have no idea how much that means to me,” he said quietly. “I’ve been terrified that wanting all of this again made me reckless.”

She leaned into his touch. “Wanting a family doesn’t make you reckless. It makes you brave. It makes you strong.”

He let out a shaky breath, almost as if he was relieved, then he rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t know where this is going,” he admitted. “Not with the baby, but with you...”