Page 48 of The Starfish Sisters

Impulsively, I cross the room and hug her. She’s taller than me, but skinnier, and I feel her limbs like twigs and branches, not flesh. Even so, she melts into me, her face against my shoulder, her long arms around me. She sighs and tucks her nose into my neck.

We don’t say anything. I know this is what she needs, what she longs for. Why do I find it so hard to be generous? I sometimes think this is the legacy of my cold mother, who pushed and prodded and loved me but mostly did withhold affection, both toward me and toward my father.

I run a hand up and down her spine. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

“Is it?”

“Yes,” I say, emphatically. “Yes.”

I feel her take a breath, fortifying herself, and she straightens, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she glances over her shoulder to where Joel is working on the breaker box. There’s something in her expression that looks stricken, and I wonder if they’ve ever talked since he burned down her father’s church. So furious. We’d all been so furious with her dad, and Joel was the one who expressed it for all of us.

A long time ago.

I say, “Joel, will you walk me through what you’ve done once you finish?”

“Sure thing. Nothing too complicated.”

“Walk us both through,” Suze says, and looks at me. “I’m going to be here awhile this time.”

“That’s good,” I say. “You need some time to heal.”

“Maybe I need to be home for good.” She looks out the window toward the Starfish Sisters. As if to illustrate how perfect the view is, a bald eagle sails between us and the rocks. A squawking madness goes off, seagulls yelling, smaller birds swirling up in crowds. The eagle snatches one and flies away, chased by three others and a pair of seagulls squalling punitive curses after him.

“Wow,” I say, awed.

“Yeah,” she whispers. “How do I forget how fantastic this place is?”

“Well, it’s an outdoor kind of fantastic. Awetoutdoor fantastic.” I pause. “Um, I need a favor?”

She inclines her head. “Anything.”

I look to see where Jasmine is, and she’s in the other room, dragging around a mouse on a string for Yul Brynner to chase. In a quiet voice, I say, “Ben asked me out. Wants to go up to Poseidon on Friday night.”

“What?” she squeaks. “Phoebe!” Her face lights up. “That’s great.”

“Could Jasmine spend the night? We might be up late.”

“Oh my God, yes. We will have a blast!”

“Who will?” Jasmine asks, ambling into the room.

“Me and you. Want to spend the night with me on Friday?”

Jasmine opens her mouth wide. Her gray eyes are so bright it almost stings. “Here?”

“Where else?”

“Will I have to sleep by myself?” She gives me a side-eye, like I will complain, but what do I care? It’s kind of sweet that she still wants to sleep with an adult.

“No! You can sleep with me if you want.” Suze tilts her head. “I mightcuddleyou, though.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Cool, then.” She winks at me. “It’s adate.”

“Yay!” Jasmine leaps over to hug Suze. A mean little part of me twinges with jealousy—as with my grandmother, I sometimes want to be the One.

Even I know it’s petty. I should be grateful that she has so much love in her life.