Page 118 of When We Believed in Mermaids

“But I can’t forgive you for lying to me for so long. You had so many opportunities to tell me the truth, and you didn’t take any of them.”

My heart sinks.

“I’ll have my lawyer draw up an agreement. We’ll split custody and figure out the best way to do that. I’ll keep the Devonport house, and you can have this one.”

For a long, long moment, I stare at him. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Simon.”

“I assure you that I’m not.”

“More fool you, then.” I stand up, round the table, and push him upright. When there’s space, I slide into his lap, face-to-face, and put my arms around him. “What we have isgreat.”

“Was great.” He looks surly and sad, but he’s not shoving me away, and that’s a good sign.

My hands are on his shoulders. I move them to his face. “I’ve paid for everything I did, Simon, and then some. When life gave me a chance, I figured out a way to turn it all around. And look at us, Simon! What kind of idiot takes such a hard stand on the moral road that he throws away his wife and his entire family?”

“I’m not throwing you away.”

“Uh, yeah, you are. If you stay with this hard-ass stand, all of us suffer. All of us—you, me, the kids. That would be stupid.”

He pulls my hands off his face. “Trust is everything, Mari. If everything you’ve told me is a lie, how can I believe anything you say going forward?”

I sigh, fear starting to dig its claws into my heart. But I have also become someone who can fight for the good in her life. A woman who doesn’t run from things. “I didn’t lie about anything in our lives from the time we met, only about the past.”

He starts to shake his head again, shift me off his lap.

“No.” I tighten my grip, hands and legs. “We’re not going to wreck our family over this. We will not do that.” My hands are in the hair over his ears, in fists. “This is not some depressing Victorian novel where a woman who makes bad choices inevitably dies a terrible death. I’m not Veronica Parker, paying for the sin of having the life she wanted. This is me and you. We fell in love the minute we met, and it’s been good ever since.”

Tears are gathering in his eyes again. “I’m so angry with you.”

“I know. And you have every right to be. Be mad. We can work through that.”

He only holds me close, and I know he’s crying, trying to be manly about it. “You can come home, but this is not over.”

“Okay. I’m okay with that.”

“I don’t know how to do this,” he says raggedly.

“Me neither.” I allow for the reality of everything that has happened. “Maybe, in the end, you won’t be able to forgive me.”

“I’m afraid that may be true.”

I close my eyes. “I love you so much, Simon. More than I’ve ever loved anyone until our children were born. You are the sun in my world, the most normal thing that ever happened to me.”

He closes his eyes, and the tears spill out below his lids. “I just love you so much,” he whispers. “And it was all so perfect.”

“If this is the worst thing that happens to our family, we will be lucky people indeed.”

He sighs, his hands on my waist. “You’re my Achilles’ heel.”

With my thumb, I brush away one of the tears, and I bend in to kiss each eyelid. “No. I’m your sunshine in the morning, your moonlight at night.”

He lets go of a choked laugh, and then his arms are around me, so tight, and it’s my turn to make a hushed, grateful sound. “I need you,” he says.

“I know. And I need you.” Into his neck, I whisper, “It’s all a big mess, but we’ll work it out over time.”

We sit, exhausted, together for a long time. “I talked to my mom on FaceTime,” I say quietly. “I told her to come see us.”

“Will she?”