Page 80 of The Replay

She studies me, thoughts fleeting through her mind. "Now that you say it…"

Crap.

"Mariana." I shake my head and grab the wheel with both hands. "It's a terrible idea."

"We were successful twice." She chews on her bottom lip. It's nerves, not seduction. "It could be fun. It could make us feel good for a little while. So what do you think? Should we try?"

And now she is actually asking me, and I'm not suspended in shock anymore. I'm flooded with heat, and my heart races, and my brain screams a thousand warnings, and my cock perks up like we could get on board with this.

"Don't do this," I say.

I'm torn. Split right down the middle. My body remembers, and it knows she's right. A short trip down memory lane could be the respite of a lifetime— a break from the longing, an abdication to what we had.

It could also wreck the hard-earned truce we've achieved, when things invariably end.

"Sorry." Her tone is quiet. "Just a thought. Forget it. It's just that having you around keeps drawing me in and after everything the past few weeks… But no. It's too risky. I know I'm being selfish. Asking too much of you again. I should really stop doing that."

"Fuck," I mutter, whiteknuckling the wheel.

"It's okay," she whispers. "I promise I'll get better. I won't give up on being better. And maybe… maybe this is your chance to tell me no."

It takes a minute but I gaze at her.

Her lips tilt in a small smile, but her eyes are sad. "A few weeks ago you said you'd love to see me break and ask, because it would give you a chance to say no to me for once."

I freeze again. Even harder than before. So much so that my hands hurt as they squeeze, shooting tension up my arms to my shoulders.

"I broke." She gives me the tiniest smile. "You're welcome."

She tries to joke, but I know her too well.

"Mari."

"Thanks for the ride," she says. "Goodnight."

Without fanfare, looking like this was the most casual drive back home, she gets out of the car. Rain hammers down on her but she doesn't rush. She walks slowly toward the entrance of her building.

"Fuck. Fuck!" I say.

I should be happy. Pride and righteousness should have my chest all puffed up, and I should be smirking at her retreating form. It's the moment when I was meant to feel like I won, like I got it right, and I got my chance to prove it. My redemption.

Instead, I want to scream that this is unfair. That it wasn't supposed to feel like I'm losing her all over again. Like I'm a fool thinking with my dick again, and a heart too bruised and tired to get in the way and rescue me from a mistake.

She's almost to the door.

"Damn it."

I get out of the car. "Mariana!"

She stops.

I stride to her until we're face-to-face, standing in the rain. Drops fall down my temples, collecting on my shoulders, cooling me down fast. Her hair getsflattened, and a few small beads hang from her eyelashes. Her arms are crossed, keeping herself together, keeping some warmth for herself.

My hands lay fisted at my sides. Hell, even my core is engaged, as I keep myself still.

She doesn't do anything more than look at me with expectant eyes.

I'm going to end up paying for this.