Page 75 of The Replay

"And I think we would all agree," Saint says. "I mean, look at all of us."

"Cut it out, you guys." Dom frowns. "You're all still in the honeymoon phase of your relationships. I know you can't understand why someone would not seek the same, but, this topic? You're getting too pushy. Even more than usual."

Wow. Three months after seeing Dom again at Cora's welcome party, and having failed at avoiding their meddling in the weeks since, he changed tactics and went for it. He called them out.

It takes the group a minute to process Dom's protest. Frowns appear on some faces. Pen and Nat blink more than usual. But they all take his words in and end up with apologetic looks on their faces.

All I can do is hold my breath and wait. I'm not sure… I don't understand… but something momentous is going on.

The silence doesn't stretch too long.

"I'm sorry," Evie says. "This wasn't meant to be pushy, but I get it. It's easy for us to keep it philosophical and hide behind our good intentions, but weshouldn't insist so much. What's brought us happiness may not be what would make you happy."

Oh, shit. I get dizzy. I check my glass and, no. I don't think I've drunk too much. My eyes search everyone's faces again, seeking what prompted this feeling inside. Like I could jerk back in shock. Like the fact that I can't react without having all their questioning eyes on me is freezing me in my spot.

I have to restart my lungs. Breathing is conscious work for a few seconds.

Dom nods. "Some of us don't think romantic love is how we'll get everything we want, is all."

And, when push comes to shove, he feels free to tell his friends what he thinks. And they listen.

"All right," Saint says. "Fair. We'll retreat."

I gulp. I'm breathing easier now. I'm not dizzy anymore. My mind is blown, though.

I had never seen something like this in action. Whenever my parents went on philosophical discussions like this— arguing the total opposite, funnily enough— there was no room to oppose their conclusions. Or ask them to stop.

This is all so new to me.

"What we can all agree on," Dom says out of nowhere, "is that this meal is excellent."

His friends let him change the subject. I watch them get comfortable again, eating and chatting about the show and any other topic that pops into their minds. It takes me several minutes to recover from my shock, but it's a cozy evening, and it helps. It gives me time to process what I've witnessed. To think about all the things I've believed about love and my fear of judgment.

It leaves me with a melancholic emptiness between my lungs. Who knows where my life might have gone, had I confronted some of these things before.

I glance at Dom, grinning at Saint and Ames across from us, then I gaze out the window. Drops cover the transparent bits on the tent, refracting colors from the city below.

I'm in limbo, and I don't even know why.

The staff moved the couches outside to face each other, so we can all chat. The screen at the back replays Ames' show, but this time we talk to each other.

I'm sitting with Dom again. The night has kept the same vibe as dinner, and the nostalgia remains in my chest. Everyone smiles at me and includes me in conversations. Yet there's something missing and I have no idea what it is.

I check the time on my phone. "I think it's time for me to leave."

"Are you sure?" A few people ask.

No, I'm not sure, but an alarm continues to beep in my head, constant and nagging, even if it's so subtle it feels more like a lost memory. A faraway sound, crossing through a foggy landscape.

"Yeah," I say. "Just asked to be picked up."

"Would you like a bodyguard today?" Bear asks.

"No, I'm good. Thank you. It won't take long."

We go back and forth a few more times, but eventually I say goodbye to everyone. A few hugs happen. Not from Dom, of course, but I don't mind. It's better that way.

I'm all the way at the curb when my car gets cancelled.